Three Assumptions Youth Pastors Want Made About Them By Their Pastors
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I know, we have been told not to make assumptions because it turns us and others into a naughty word. As youth workers (and any employee for that matter), we do want some assumptions to be made because it seems so many untrue assumptons are unintentially directed at us that make us uncomfortable and some times angry. I cannot speak for all youth workers, so I will speak for me and see if any any of these resonate with you.
I want you to assume I am competent
You hired me for a reason, let me take on challenges and believe I will succeed. If you do not, it is money wasted and time wasted in micro-managing me.
I want you to assume I want what is best for the whole Body and not just for the youth ministry.
If I am young (and I am not) I may need some help seeing the big picture. If I am older (which I am) then help remind me of Aunt Sally, in the top balcony, who has a degenerative disease and needs more exercise, and thats why we are turning the youth room into an aerobocise classroom.
I want you to assume I will work hard
You notice I did not say work hard for you, but that is a given if put my priorities in the right order . If I am kingdom minded I will be about the Father’s business and ultimately yours as well. If I am not kingdom minded and you are not kingdom minded, we will be about each other’s business, and ultimately fail at both our tasks.
Positive Assumptions Are Free
It does not cost us anything to have a positive assumption about someone. Some of us may have to do mental gymnastics to overcome past misgivings, but in the end, a positive assumption can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you are a Pastor, try communicating these positive assumptions you have about your youth pastor in creative and obvious ways such as allowing your youth pastor to pray for the offering, this may seem like nothing but what you are saying is, “I trust you in front of these people” and “I want other people to see you in another light.” It’s too bad many pastors hide their youth (and children’s pastors) away from others for fear of X. What assumptions could be drawn from that?
In the end, I believe my Pastor does assume all this about me, and for that I am thankful, but many youth pastors do not have that luxury. The only assumption Pastors should not make about their youth pastors, and vice versus, is that we are perfect. Unless we have given you a reason, and a really good one at that, to doubt us, assume your youth pastor is for you and not against you and wants to help you build the church and not tear down it down.
How about you? If you are a youth pastor do you think your pastor has positive or negative assumptions about you?
If you are a Sr. Pastor, have you made the right assumptions about your youth pastor? Is there a way you can communicate that to them?
Starting The Year Right With Your Parents
0Happy New Year Everyone! Are you glad last year is gone and the new year is here? Me too. One of the way to start your new year off right is by touching base with your students’ parents. I recently sent out my first of the year e-mail to my parents and thought you might benefit from it. I tried to do there things with this e-mail
1. Engage- I send out an e-mail every week that not only deals with youth programming but life in general.
2. Explain- Let be honest, some parents have no idea about the programs we run. I do my best to explain them so they can choose what is best of for their kids.
3. Expect- Expectations are important. Parents have expectation of us and I have expectations of them. It is about partnership and working together to build the Kingdom of God.
Christianity is not a buffet but our youth programs are, so I do my best to make sure parents get to decide what their kids need and let them choose.
I Want My Kids To Be More Responsible (Be A Leader Not A Follower)
I don’t know of any parent who says to their teenager, “Please, let me do more for you while you play xbox for 20 hours a week.” We take leadership seriously in Fusion. We believe students should own and lead their youth ministry . They can hear from God just like we can. They can have passions, ideas, and visions just like we can. They can execute a plan just like we can, with a little guidance. They can build the Kingdom of God just like we can. That being said, we offer a monthly Endeavor meeting, where kids and adults get together to make plans and dream for what God wants to do in this youth ministry. If you want your kids to be responsible at home. Let them be responsible for God’s house. One will reflect the other. Our first Endeavor meeting will be Tuesday, January 10th at 6:30 p.m. Location is TBA. Endeavor meeting are for 8th grade students and up.
I Want My Kid To Be A Stronger, Deeper Disciple for Christ (Act On Their Convictions)
This is not a short term goal but a life long goal. We all want to get deeper, be stronger, and live out what we believe to the max. At least I hope we do. The first step to that, as parents, is to deepen our own walk with God.This is a great time for your kids to see you go deeper as we fast and pray together for the next 21 days. I spend two hours a week max with your kids, you spend at least 28-40 hours a week (when they are not in school). My impact is limited, your impact is limitless.
We have an event this month called Discipleship Camp put on by the State A/G Youth Team. it will be in Springville on January 13-15. It is a great time to getaway for worship and teaching. I would have let you know sooner but we were not planning to go because of the Gulf Shore trip. If you would like your child to attend, the cost is $75 for Endeavor members and $80 for everyone else, and is due this coming Wednesday. I have attached a form for you. Please send me a quick e-mail if you are wanting your child to go. You can check out some of the years district activities here www.alabamayouthministries.com
We are also offering Youth Convention March 2-4. More info will be coming about this next week.
I Want My Kids To Care About (Love) Others More
Jesus said, “I will make you my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the Utter Most parts of the earth.” Jesus told his disciples this after he promised the power of the Holy Spirit. I believe Jesus is still speaking this to us, and to our young people today. We will start in Jerusalem ( Pleasant Grove, Hueytown) and move to the Utter Most parts of the world in a three year plan. We will be designing special outreaches for your kids to bring their friend to for the next four months and we will be capping it off this summer with a trip outside the state. We will be having Missions Wednesday in two weeks January 18th. After reviewing our options and prayer will will choose a location and begin fundraising. You are invited to check out the locations we are considering on that night and share your thoughts.
If you think these programs will assist you in strengthening your family, then I say come on aboard! If there are other ways, or if you have other desires for your family, let Kim and I know and we will do our best to assist you.
As always, we pray for you and your family. Please pray for Kim and I as we serve you to the best of our ability.
Paul and Kim
Two Words That Do Not Go With Discipleship
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I was driving my 17 year old son to school the other day. There are two roads to his school. One involves a light, the other involves a stop sign. I usually take him the way of the stop light. It’s straighter. My route involves going straight and then making a left. The other road is curvy, so I would have to drive slower and it takes me past the school and I have to come back to it, longer right? When we reached the road that my son said was faster, I could have argued and said, “No it’s not” and gone straight. So we went his way, but it still bugged me whether it was faster or not.
So, in my typical anal fact finding ways, and a chance to tell my son his route was not faster, I went back the same way I came and timed it. I sat in front of the school, hit the stop watch on my iphone and took off. I drove between 40-45 mph. My son’s route back to where we started took 2:55.3 seconds. I then turned and went my way, keeping my speed the same as the other route. I hit the light but I was only delayed a few seconds before the light turned green. Arriving back at the school, which some who saw me the first time probably thought I was crazy, I stopped the watch, it read 3:39.5. My son was right, it was faster. I was a bit shocked, I thought my was was faster.
Thisis the first word you cannot put together with discipleship: Faster. Faster is a selling word. Faster sells cars, cleaning products, and tax audits. All of these are things we want to go fast and to help us get done with whatever we have to do to get to the thing we want to do. Faster is provable. Just time it.
Which is the easier way to tie your shoes? Bunny ears or the traditional method? Neither to a man with no hands and a man with no feet doesn’t care. Easier is also a selling word, use this, it’s easier. Easier is a matter of opinion and context. What is easy to for one, is difficult for another.
This is the second word that goes with disciplehsip: easier. Faster and easier are not the words we should be looking for when it comes to discipleship.
Is it easier to do discipleship one on one or in a small group?
Is it faster to make disciples if we get everyone to make the meeting or the retreat?
If someone tells you there is an easier or faster way to do discipleship, or even ministry in general, run away. It does not exist. They both can be tested but the conditions must be the same as the way the person that told you how they they reached X faster.
Words you could use to judge any discipleship method or practice
Effective
Condusive
Reasonable
Productive
Faster and easier are great words to sell products but poor words to use when leading people in the way of Christ. There was nothing easy or fast about Jesus’ time with his disciples or His crucifixion on the cross. Easier and faster are words about us. To make our job easier. Here are two words that do go with discipleship: glorious work.
Throw your two cents and two words in the mix. What two words would you use to describe discipleship?
Hearing The Gospel For The First Time
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Think about this for the moment. Hearing the gospel for the first time. Those of us who have been Christians for a while, can’t really imagine this. We heard it, accepted it, and joined the rank and file. Maybe that’s the problem. We did not have to find an underground church to hear this good news. We did not kicked out of our houses because we confessed Christ to our Muslim family. We did not have to share a portion of the Bible that was passed from house to house. Yet, in America, there are kids hearing the gospel for the first time. They are in your youth group.
I just read a post by Seth Godin. He said
“Campbell’s soup is almost never bought for the first time. It is a replacement purchase. No one switches to Campbell’s either. They buy it because their mom did.”
Many of our kids are being handed down something less than the good news from previous generations. They’re inheriting the religion of their parents, but in many cases, it’s not the good news. Our kids have been taught that it’s good to go to church, the bible is a good book, be faithful but not fanatical, and give when it’s convenient. This is not good news. It’s bad. The kids we get speak to every week have not made a choice, they come with what was passed on to them.
How would you/do you get your teens turn in their Campbells soup for something “new”?
Is Your Youth Group Lame? It Depends.
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I had a great conversation with a parent yesterday because we were on the same page (I know, shocking!), but she shared how her daughter and another came to them after a recent service and said that youth group that night was lame.
A little back story. This youth group has had everything handed to it. They have not had a youth pastor last longer than a year in the past five years. I am launching into year two. The upside of of the conversations is that we both agree that both girls were not taking enough responsibility or ownership the group. Just because someone says your group is lame does not mean it is. So what does the phrase, “This group is lame.” really mean? And how do you know if it is or isn’t? It depends.
Take The “Is My Group Lame?” Quiz
It depends, are doing all the planning? Yes? Then it’s lame.
It depends, are you tapping into kids gifts and letting them shine? No? Then it’s lame.
It depends, are you caving into the consumerism mentality of the spoiled few? Yes? Then it’s lame.
It depends, are you discipling (disciplining, correcting, guiding, etc) your kids? No? Then it’s lame.
It depends, are you trying to please everyone? Yes? Then it’s lame.
It depends, are you letting kids lead? No? Then it’s lame
It depends, are you willing to let kids fail? No? Then it’s lame.
It depends, Is Jesus the focus of your mission? No? Then it’s lame.
Did you flunk? Are you lame? The good news, your group is not incurably lame. You can change.
So, what is the opposite of lame? Do the opposite of the above things and find out.
Four Building Blocks of Outreach
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I recently did a session for our kids ministry about the building blocks of outreach. Each principle builds upon another. Feel free to use this session with your leaders
Outreach Building Blocks
1. Passion drives everything.
Key Questions
Why did you get involved with this program? Tell me your story?
That story drives everything you do and will sustain you during difficult
2. We must eliminate the phrase “That’s too much work” from our mental vocabulary
Key Questions
How much work is too much work when our goals are critical?
If the best idea involves needing extra people, get them, if it involved vans, rent them, if it involves writing your own curriculum, write it. If the best idea will achieve your goals, then the extra work is not extra it’s necessary.
3. Are you sprinting or part of a marathon? Thinking long term.
The problem can become our purpose. “Solve the problem.” becomes our mantra. The only problem is, there is another problem around corner. Once you start looking past the problem to the vision, the vision not only sustains you for now, it give you hope for the future. Get busy building the vision. Problem solved.
Key Questions
What would you like to see happen in this ministry?
3 months from now?
6 Months from now?
1 year from now?
4. Marketing is not a dirty word.
If you think you have a great program, talk about it. It’ not pride, it’s giving glory to God. God is moving in your ministry, in your kids, and in you. Your program is not perfect, but there is enough there to crow about. We should talk about our ministry as if it is the best place to serve in the church. If we do not believe that, no one else will either.
Key Questions
How should we get the word out? Click HERE for a Get The The Word Out Check List. You can use this tool to help you promote a special event or for how to get the word out about your weekly small group or youth group meeting.
What can we do that will make a kid hound his or her mother or father until they bring them?
What can we do in our printed pieces that best represent who we are?
How can we tap social media to get our message out about who we are, What God is doing, and why students should come be a part.
Final Note:
Outreach is not an event. Outreach is ongoing, even when you are sleeping, Outreach happens inside the church as well as outside the church. Don’t limit yourself or the God you serve. God is outreaching and so should we:
“For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9a
Free 8 Week Guys Bible Study Based On The Show Top Shot
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If you are not familiar with the History Channel show Top Shot, it is a show about guys in a multi-week shooting competition to become the seasons Top Shot. I took this simple premise and let the Bible do the rest. You get to shoot things and study the Bible? This is a guys bible study dream.
The Apostle Paul was an incredibly focused man. He kept his aim true from beginning to end. These 8 small group lessons will focus on particular admonition by the Apostle Paul from his epistles to the churches he started.
Currently, the study is being offered to our Get It First flock. Not a member? Sign up in the upper right hand corner and this study could be in your box very soon.
Blessings,
Paul Turner
When Your Youth Ministry Is Too Weak To Lead
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If you have read though many of my posts, you know I am a big proponent of student-led ministry. This is good in theory, but it requires, if they are new to the concept, hard work to retrain their mindset and the mindset of the church who might have certain expectations for you.
In small youth groups, which are most youth groups in America, 10-15 kids, trying to get your teens to own their youth ministry feels like a herculean task. You want them to carry this new standard but they are too weak hold it let aloe carry it. I began to think about this weakness and what causes it, and what we can do about it. Here are a few of my thoughts:
1. Spiritual Starvation- Youth groups that are built on games and entertainment, when approached with the idea of student leadership and it’s costs, sometimes choke on this idea. I know preachers preach meat over milk, but sometimes you have to go back to the bottle just so they can hold on to the knife and fork. Go back to the basics and the “why’s?” of why you meet and covering the basics of the gospel.
2. No Exercise- Youth groups who are not used to servant projects or mission trips, possibly have an inbred mentality of us four no nore. They haven’t exercised their faith in a long time and left them in a type of spiritual atrophy. Get those muscles working again in your church, your community, or anywhere else in the world and you’ll see their muscle tone return.
3. No Energy- The youth group that suffer from this might need some outreach opportunities to their friends. They have fatigue from too little or maybe from doing to much. Pulling off a big deal like a concert or event, give the group the big picture of what they can do for their youth ministry and community. Likewise, scaling back on a very busy schedule may free your kids up to lead
4. In-Fighting- It could be that your youth group has been fighting so much they are emotionally exhausted from tearing into one another. When countries experience this, from a coo or rebellion, it becomes more difficult to govern and make progress. Maybe there needs to be a peace treaty drawn up and you play the role of ambassador getting parties to sign it for the sake of the group.
5. Spiritual Anorexia and Bulimia- This youth group suffers from a identity problem. As much as you tell them they are the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ, they just see themselves as nobodies, and so they purge themselves of the nutrients they gobble in your meetings. Lessons on self image, who we are in Christ, and who is the church, may get them to a healthier self image and hold on to the meat of being leaders.
In the end, even though we want to reboot the group and get them growing, we may have to carry our group until they can carry themselves. Be patient, feed them well, exercise them regularly, work for peace, and eventually they will pick up their faith and run with it, then you’ll have to try to keep up with them.
Idealism Or The Idea? Your Choice Means Misery or Success
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If you blow up the picture above, Captain America is waxing eloquently about how America should be. He ends with the phrase “no, you move.” Idealism works for Cap, he’s a comic book character, he does not live in the real world, we do. Idealism says “you move”. Cap would not make it as a pastor.
According to the dictionary Idealism is the practice of forming or pursuing ideals, esp. unrealistically. I cannot begin to tell you how much idealism almost wrecked me in my young days. The battle between idealism and reality is strong and ongoing. Every conference we attend, article we read, and video we watch, draws what is perfect in our heads. When we bring those ideas to the youth ministry table, and start to push others around us to conform to it, that is where the trouble begins.
Idealism pushed people away.
Idealism forces it will upon others.
Idealism crushes our hearts and creates bitterness when it becomes unrealized.
The Bible is ideal. How Jesus disciples is ideal. Becoming consumed with the ideal attendance, the ideal strategy for small groups, or our ideal preaching style can all blind us to the reality of what Jesus is doing in our midst. We can become so consumed with the ideal anything, we miss the point of the idea itself. Idealism is the enemy of the idea.
Have you been ever been more consumed with your idealism (the forceful perfecting of an unrealistic vision) than in love with the idea, letting unfold naturally? Share your wisdom on how you killed the beast.
Post summed up: Idea good. Idealism bad.
The Lure Of Becoming A Secular Youth Ministry
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Secular sounds like an antiquated word in this day and age, but it’s the only one I could think of to describe the alternative to a faith based, radical youth ministry.
The lure of becoming a secular youth ministry is very appealing. It calls to us. It beckons like a siren to
- run a program instead of making disciples.
- keep our head down and do our job.
- avoid engaging the community we live in with the gospel.
- put in office hours like everyone else on our block.
- do what we’re told instead of what is best. Compliance is king.
- not challenging kids to follow Jesus for fear they will leave.
- preach behavior modification rather than an all sufficient Savior.
