Are you hungry? I am, at least 3 times a day. But what would you say about your heart and soul? Are they hungry? This is what I want to talk about today, I received a question from Nathan and he asks,
Hey Paul, Can you talk a little bit more about that last point about feeding yourself as a believer when you’re a pastor? Maybe this is a little off from what you were getting at, but I find its challenging to be spiritually fed when I’m often the one that does the teaching, and so I feel like I miss out on things like our Adult education class, because i’m teaching sunday school…
This completely understandable. I have felt the same way, many times.
Pastors spend a lot of time feeding others and little time feeding themselves which is not a very good way to pastor. Many pastors elevate work for validation but diminish quiet and study time because it’s static. What is this doing?
Work may get you the praise of others but inside you know you’re starving.
Youth Pastors, like all pastors, become weak and anemic because they do not feed themselves. Now, one thing all support staff cannot do is blame it on their pastor. Not every pastor is good communicator or a good motivator.
If we blame the pastor we become like many in our congregation who claim, “I’m leaving because I am not being fed” Which, if someone in the church came up and said that to me, and they have, I say to them, “No, it’s not that you are not being fed, you are snubbing your nose at what is being served.”
In my house growing up it was, this is what is for dinner, eat it or go to bed hungry and because many believers not only won’t eat what is put before them in a service or bible study, they blame the pastor.
And when a pastor won’t slow down to refresh, study, take time off and they get burned out, guess what, they blame God, quit the ministry, etc ,etc. so it becomes a wicked cycle of honoring work over study, silence, pray, rest because work makes feel better about ourselves.
So, what do we do about it? Let me offer 4 tips on how I stay well fed, spiritually, the busy world of ministry.
Mediating on God’s Word
Not just the verses but their application and their implications for my life as a believer.
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. Psalms 1:1,2
Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Psalm 4:4
It doesn’t say study the greek or read a bunch of commentaries, it say to meditate, chew on this thought and see what it means. No one chews a piece of gum 3-4 times and then spits it out, they chew it until all the flavor is out of it. Chew on the Word and what it means for your life, not the lives of your students, your life.
I believe there are 4 ways people consume the Bible for spiritual nourishment. Most of these are boxes people seek to check.
Verse of the day
For some people, this is all they think their need ye they wonder why they’re hungry all the time. That is not to say a verse cannot sustain you for a few days, if you memorizing it, meditating on it or praying it, but most people just read it and go “Isn’t that nice.”
Devotions
This is similar to Verse of the Day because most devotion have one verse and then commentary. Once again, I like devotions but is it enough to sustain you? It is, if you are journaling your thoughts or praying through it.
Reading Your Bible
This method of consumption is different than the other two because you are consuming a chapter or a passage, giving you more to think on as it relates to the surrounding verses.
Studying Your Bible
This is a deeper kind of consumption and one many pastors enjoy. The temptation, for Pastors, is read a passage and think, “This would make a great sermon series” and the mind is off to to the races.
I think the key to separating the pastor and the believer is to read in read in a section you are not currently studying from. If you are preaching through the New Testament, read in the Old Testament. If you normally study for your sermons on Tuesday, reserve Thursdays for self study.
None of these way are wrong but what every Pastor has to determine is, what will fill me up with God’s goodness and keep me satisfied in Him.
Journaling
Part of staying spiritually healthy is making room for the good stuff and making room means you have to empty your heart of worries, doubts and fears and that is why I journal.
My journal is filled with pages of “dump pages” where I empty every thought and feeling no matter how terrible onto the page. If I don’t dump the negative thoughts and feelings, they will eventually mingle and pollute the good stuff I am trying to put in, The Apostle Paul encourages the Ephesians,
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I have to make room for this both in my heart and in my schedule.
You don’t have to write a lot. Some time I write one thought, one sentence and it’s enough and sometimes I write 3 pages.
Building a system of No so you can say Yes
At my age, I don’t eat a lot of large meals but yesterday I had the best hamburger from The Craft Burger here in Birmingham. Had I eaten a large breakfast or snacked all morning I would not have enjoyed this burger half a much.
Did your parents ever tell you, “you’re going to ruin your supper” because you ate too much junk? It’s true. Eat a bunch of junk and you won’t enjoy the meal prepared for you.
Junk food for the youth pastor is saying yes to busy work or to things that are not in their portfolio, such as a parishioner asking you to come over get that old couch they want to donate to the youth room. No.
Just like I had to say no, physically, early on so I could enjoy the burger later, I have to say no to good things, even good opportunities, so I can enjoy great and more beneficial things for myself later. This is not being selfish. Proverbs advises us,
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
This should not be an excuse to not serve others or to get out of things you know you should do, but it is a guideline to be self aware when you are saying yes to too much to things that drain your energy.
Look at your peak times of energy during the day and schedule you quiet time or study time then. For me it’s early in the morning and for you it might be 11am.
You are in charge of your schedule. You control your calendar. Fill your calendar with what is important or other people will. If you need something to help you stay organized I recommend My Youth Ministry Playbook.
If you’re spending all your time on the internet or bingeing shows on streaming or whatever, then you have no one to blame but yourself for being spiritually hungry.
Do the stuff you love
Feeding yourself spiritually isn’t just about reading the Bible, does that shock you?
We are not just repositories for scripture, God made us to enjoy life, so for me that means going to the move
I like my alone time but I also save time for community like going to the movies with friend. Sometimes I go alone because I find movies therapeutic.
I also like playing role playing games and have a group on Monday nights I join for a night of slaying foul creatures.
Whatever your thing is, find time for it. Pastoring is out job but it’s not who we are. Make room for hobbies in your life and find joy in them. In doing so you won’t build up resentment and anger over the ministry taking up so much of your life.
I have experienced the hunger, the lack of good preaching, the filling up on junk and I guard my life, best I can from falling back into spiritual starvation.
Are you craving accountability but don’t have anyone you can count on? It’s tough to ask your friends because it might make things awkward when they ask you tough questions and you may even lie to even them. That’s why you need a ministry coach, someone who cares more for your future than your feeling.
I want you to be a great youth pastor and that means not just working on the x’s and 0’s of ministry but on the soul and health of you the youth pastor.
I invite you to check out Catalyst Coaching, I have a new pricing structure in place where it does not have to break the bank with a big one time payment. You’ll also receive some great books and resources I’ve written just for youth pastors.