Every youth pastor has them — those faithful adults who show up, keep an eye on the kids, make sure no one breaks anything, and maybe hand out snacks. They’re dependable, kind, and a huge help. But sometimes, they stay stuck in chaperone mode — making sure nothing bad happens instead of stepping into the deeper ministry God’s called them to.
If we want our students to grow spiritually, we need to help our adults grow too. That means moving them from supervisors to shepherds, from crowd control to kingdom impact. Here’s how you can make that shift in your youth ministry.
Change the Language and Expectations
Words shape culture. If you keep calling them “chaperones,” they’ll keep acting like chaperones.
Instead, use language that casts vision: youth leader, mentor, ministry partner.
Take time to paint a picture of what their presence means — not just keeping order, but shaping lives.
Explain the why: Students are learning faith not only from what’s taught on stage but from how adults interact, listen, and respond. Every hallway conversation, van ride, and small group moment is an opportunity to reflect Jesus.
Keep an ear out for anyone who uses the phrase, “Just a volunteer”. This phrase is the antithesis of shepherding. Don’t let others use terms for your team that would hint at a “less than” and do your best to counter the “just a volunteer” when your leaders say it about themselves. Remind them that they are more than just Pizza Servers and Shush Czars.
Start Small with Relational Wins
You don’t need to hand every volunteer a discipleship manual. Start with small relational goals.
Encourage them to talk to two students they don’t know this week. Help them ask better questions that move past, “How was school?” to “What’s something that made you laugh this week?” or “What’s been stressing you out lately?”
I recently learned of a fun game/activity you could do with a small group that’s just sitting around, hanging out and it’s called First/Last/Best/Worst. This comes from Matthew Dicks book Stories Sell: Strategies to Grow Your Business and Brand which is a great book if you want to tell better stories in your talks or preaching.
Pick a mid topic like cereal and students would respond with The First Cereal they remember eating, The Last Cereal they remember eating, The Best Cereal they remember eating and The Worst Cereal they remember eating. This will surely lead to getting to know students much better.
Stay away from words that would be too personal such as Kiss, Date, etc.
Let your team see you model relational ministry from casual conversations to caring about their day/life to willingly offer to pray with them, the adult leader and students, should they need/want it.
And if your adult leaders feel overwhelmed by the size of the group, remind them — just focus on one or two students. Discipleship always starts small.
Provide Training and Encouragement
You don’t need a full retreat to train your team — just create short ministry huddles. Five minutes before or after youth group is enough to share a simple discipleship tip or encouragement.
Celebrate ministry moments. Ask a few questions,
“Which students surprised you tonight?”
“Where did you see God move in our service?”
“Is there anything we need to improve, quickly?”
When a leader has a great interaction with a student, tell the story! Tell it to your Pastor, on social and and in team meetings. It shows the rest of the team what ministry actually looks like.
Equip them with simple tools: how to pray with a student, how to ask spiritual questions, or how to follow up after a tough night.
And most importantly — normalize imperfection. God uses awkward conversations, small efforts, and even “failures” to grow both students and leaders.
Give Ownership
The more ownership you give your volunteers, the more they’ll grow. Invite them to lead something meaningful — a discussion group, a prayer time, or a short devotional moment.
Let them plan part of an event or take on creative responsibility. When people have a role in shaping ministry, they feel like partners, not helpers.
Ask for their observations: “What are you noticing about the students lately?” That question alone can turn observation into pastoral care.
And when you see growth, name it. Give feedback privately and encouragement publicly. Volunteers grow fastest in environments that are safe, affirming, and honest.
Create a Culture of Discipleship
Discipleship isn’t a program — it’s a culture. Talk often about ministry as a shared mission: “We’re all pastors to these teens.” In fact, some of your adult leaders may have more influence or more experience than you do with some teens, give them the room and the tools to lead.
Do you have a process for discipleship? How do your leaders fit into that process? Do they lead small group? Do they pray with kids at the altars at the end of a service? Consider the many ways an adult leader can participate, in small ways, to the spiritual development of a student.
Consider a one on one mentorship between qualified/trained adults where they check in with students on their walk with God and daily life stuff.
The goal in all this is to relay that we, as a youth ministry, don’t just have pizza night and kick ball every week but but that our meetings have a purpose and that is to “go into all the world and make disciples”.
If you need some discipleship resources check out my Discipleship Bundle.
Build a Pipeline
Finally, think long-term. Build a discipleship pipeline for your adults.
Meet one-on-one with a few volunteers to mentor them in ministry. Help them see themselves as shepherds, not sideline support. Of course, this will not apply to all your volunteers. There will be moms and dads who literally only want to drive the bus or bring cookies and that’s ok, but there might be others looking to go deeper and you can build a pipeline that branches in both directions.
Identify potential leaders early and move them intentionally through stages:
Chaperone → Relational Volunteer → Small Group Leader → Discipler.
The Chaperone Stage is for observation. How do they act? Would they be a good fit? Their role is to watch and learn.
The Relational Stage is for participation. How do students respond to them? What role would match their gifts and talents be it leading games, running the snack area, etc. Their role is to connect.
The Small Group Leader Stage is for operation. Can they lead a small group lesson? Do they have the heart of a shepherd? Their role, at least for a season, is to oversee.
The Discipler Stage is for dedication. Yes, there will be some overlap with the Small Group Stage but the questions here are: Do they have a clear, biblical vision for what a disciple is and can the help students along that path?
And celebrate every step. When someone moves from crowd control to caring ministry, acknowledge it publicly. It reinforces the kind of team culture you want to multiply.
Final Thought
Your leaders don’t need to be Bible scholars to make a difference. They just need permission, encouragement, and vision to see that what they’re doing is ministry.
When adults stop standing on the sidelines and start investing in students, youth ministry transforms. And so do the volunteers.
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