Giving youth pastors the tools they need to make and shape disciples.

The Spiritual Secret To Conquering Loneliness

In May of 2023, the Surgeon General of the United States issued an advisory about loneliness,

“The physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.”

This is certainly alarming. As someone who spends their days alone and have experienced both aloneness and loneliness at various points through a day, I’d rather not get heart disease, have a stroke or die prematurely, so how am I fighting loneliness?

For context, I grew up an only child. Spending time alone, for me, is nothing new, I rather enjoy it, but I, like many other humans, crave community, family, to be wanted, to be recognized and encouraged.

Recently, this article, titled Bible engagement: A proven antidote to the loneliness epidemic, popped up in my feed, and I think it explains how I am managing to both embrace loneliness and fight it at the same time.

The American Bible Society did a survey and, after listing the emotional and even financial impact of loneliness, this is one of their more interesting findings,

But when the Bible enters the equation, only 11 percent of Scripture-engaged respondents reported high levels of loneliness, compared to 22 percent of those considered Bible-disengaged, with Scripture engagement defined as those who score 100 or higher on a scale judging the frequency of Bible readership and its impact on and centrality to a reader’s daily life.

Among churchgoers, only 12 percent of those who attend church weekly report high levels of loneliness, compared to 25 percent of those who never attend.

As a pastor for over 30 years and a Christian even longer, I can attest that the Bible has certainly comforted me over the years when nothing else could and yet, I have been in communal settings, churches services, public gatherings and felt completely alone. Just being around people is not the solution to loneliness, engagement is.

The study indicates that church is not enough to stave off loneliness but those who went to church also engaged with the Bible, decreasing their sense of loneliness.

So how does one engage with the Bible?

Read/Listen to the Bible at face value

Read until something strikes you. The Gospels are perfect for this as well as the Psalms and Ecclesiastes

Studying your bible

Get a study book or watch a Youtube video series like The Bible Project.

Take notes/keep a journal

I have kept up the practice of journaling for over 4 decades. Somedays journaling involves meditating on a passage of scripture and some days its a brain dump and I write until I have emptied all my anxieties onto the pages.

Memorize bible verses

Another way to engage with scripture is to memorize a verse that gives you strength like,

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13

or reminds you that you are part of a bigger story, God’s story like,

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14,15

Share the verse with someone who cares about you

I don’t mean post it for shares, comments and likes, although there is nothing wrong with that, I mean share it with someone who loves you and is committed to your growth and well being, your pastor, your Sunday School teacher or another believer.

This part of the article talks about how loneliness is impacting the next generation,

Otherwise, loneliness varied by generation and gender. In ABS research, 37 percent of Gen Z females reported high levels of loneliness, compared to 18 percent of Gen Z males; with 49 percent of Gen Z females reporting moderate levels of loneliness, compared to 59 percent of males of that generation. Only 14 percent of Gen Z females reported low levels of loneliness, compared to 23 percent of Gen Z males.

As a youth pastor for over 30 years, I’ve watched a couple of generations, pre and post internet, pre- and post social media, struggle with loneliness and, in my opinion, the core triggers of loneliness remain the same,

I don’t feel loved

I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

I don’t feel like a I have a purpose

This is where, I believe, the Bible is an antidote to loneliness. It answers the big, existential questions that have plagued mankind since the beginning.

To the statement, “I don’t feel loved”

I would point to parable of the Prodigal Son and a Father’s love for his child or Psalm 68:6

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

To, “I don’t feel like I belong”

I would point to the church, the gathering of imperfect saints, and share Romans 12:14,15

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

And to those who say they do not have a purpose

I would share Ephesians 2:10

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

These are a just a couple of verses that can help the lonely engage or re-engage with a God who loves them.

Ministry is a lonely place. Leadership a lonely place. But please remember, you are never alone. 

If you’re a youth pastor or pastor who needs a mentor or coach to help you walk through this season with you, I got you, Check out My Monthly Mentor and Youth Ministry Catalyst

Related Posts

5 Shocking Truths About Gen Z and God

In episode #326 of the Youth Ministry of Motion podcast, host Paul Turner welcomes Cicely Corry, the Editorial Director at Barna, to discuss valuable insights from recent Barna studies.  They explore Gen Z’s unique challenges, their priorities, how they perceive...

read more