I sat in an office with the head of the youth ministry committee, 2 youth ministry volunteers and my pastor and if you think Leonardo DiCaprio got mauled in The Revenant, you haven’t seen anything.

I sat there for an hour as a list of my faults, issues and problems were declared as if someone unrolled a scroll and begin to make decrees. I though it was Festivus, from Seinfeld, and this was the airing of grievances, I was waiting for the Feats of Strength portion of the program where I felt I at least had a chance.

But no, no feats of strength, only humiliation and shame. No one told me, in real time, how far off I was in the expectations dept, and I vowed that would never happen again.

In a recent coaching session I shared advice on how I navigated unspoken, conflicting and unrealistic expectations going forward from that very public mugging I experienced.

Ask for a job description

I did not always have a job description. There was mostly an understanding of what was expected between my pastor and I. This is not true in many church and you may be one of those youth pastors who does not have one, you should get one. Why? So that expectations are in writing and you can use that as your road map when planning your youth ministry.

As a part of that job description I would make sure that whomever the pastor is, states what they value or what they believe is a priority because, ultimately, this is what you will be judged on. These are are the metrics by which you will be judged in an evaluation meeting.

There are 3 reasons you want a quarterly or at least a yearly review.

The first reason is Accountability

It’s easy to get siloed off, physically, to a part of the building and never see another person or be seen by another person. It’s even easier to get siloed off philosophically, ideologically and theologically.

A quarterly review’s goal, if done well, is the help a person get in line with the vision/mission of the church if they are out of sync, but a review is equally about listening and asking, “How can we help.”

Sadly, reviews are used to intimidate and potentially fire people for not meeting certain goal. I love goals and I think youth pastors should make them and fulfill them otherwise I certainly wouldn’t have written a whole course on it.

But if interviews are only going to be about goals and not people, then bring on the AI interviewer and everyone else can leave the room.

The second reason is Quality Control

Youth Pastors need second opinions. We are like froo froo designers who are in love with ideas but often need an engineers point of view to help us get to where we want to go.

I can’t tell you how many times I, cluelessly, thought my idea was the best idea and did not consult anyone. Needless to say, many of those ideas were not executed well because I was my own quality control person.

The best version of a quarterly review looks like a building project meeting down at city hall, it has

the designer (youth pastor) sharing the design of the youth ministry

the engineer, (a board member or supervisor) asking, “is this functional/possible,

the budget director (is this financially possible)

the zoning dept. (where does this fit in our town)

and the mayor (the lead pastor) who thanks and encourages everyone for their input

They all should be working together: to make sure the youth ministry is healthy, heading in the right direction numerically, financially, etc.and is a beautiful part of the church landscape instead of a demolition job to get rid of broken down, vacant houses, not that that kind of meeting has to happen, but it should be the exception not the rule.

The third reason is Pivotability

Let’s say your youth ministry is heading in the wrong direction, wouldn’t you want to know? I was not afforded that prior to my mauling, I mean, my meeting. No heads up was given that anything was wrong or, if there was, it would be brought up at my quarterly interview. I wished I had the chance, I would have pivoted.

Pivoting is not groveling or saying, “I will do better:” it’s taking notes, like on a map, of where you have been, where you are and if you are off course, how to get back to where you need to go.

Don’t hate the process, hate your hatred of the process and turn the opportunity to pivot (correction and feedback) into your super diet not your kryptonite.

Read the cousin to this article that will have you prepared for any review: 6 Work Principles That Could Save Your Job.

This is the information I passed along to a young man I am coaching. What could I pass along to you?

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