“I am burdened with glorious purpose!”
And with big eyes and an open mouth I answered, “I’m Loki”.
My wife and I watched the first episode of Loki starring Tom Hiddleston and playing on Disney + and I had an epiphany.
I left full time youth ministry to start a youth worker coaching business, travel, speak and write. I was burdened with the glorious purpose of changing the way youth ministry was done. Like Loki, I wanted to conquer earth, I wanted to conquer the youth ministry world. I enlisted Youtube, a podcast and this blog to makeup my army, if I had alien connections, (call me Thanos) I would have pinged them.
I was burdened with conquering and success.
Then time caught up with me (hello AVT) and threw me in time jail.
It took about three years, but time broke me. Feeling entitled and the revelation that I’m not “special” came over me like tidal wave. It was like God was quoting Mobious,
” It’s funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot.”
Mobius M Mobius, Loki
I lose a lot, but I also try a lot and I try hard so losing hurts a little more. Arrogance doesn’t end well.
Back to me being Loki.
I revert, often, to becoming my own god. You could say I have a Loki complex.
The Bible is filled with people who thought they were indestructible and gods in their own right; men like Pharoah and kings like Nebuchadnezzar.
Our world is filled with people who think they’re gods; from presidents to popes, from actors to politicians and from bankers to bank robbers. We become our own gods when we put ourselves at the center of life.
Like Loki, I do not like being questioned and I do not like other people telling me no.
As Hulk would say, “puny god”.
When I think I am the center of the universe, God takes a back seat and I think I’m in control. And God laughs. I like the movie Bruce Almighty, where Jim Carey get’s a taste of being God,
But, after a while, Bruce feels the pressure of being almighty
Whether it’s real people like Pharaoh (or me) or fictional characters like Bruce and Loki, humans think being a god is fulfilling, it’s not. God didn’t create us to fix everything, alone. In truth, even God doesn’t fix everything for us, but God can do amazing things that we cannot,
Bless the LORD, O my soul; all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and do not forget all His kind deeds—
He who forgives all your iniquities
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the Pit
and crowns you with loving devotion and compassion,
who satisfies you with good things,
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5
We are not God or gods, but we are all a lot like Loki, seeking to be the center of our own world and demanding that everyone else bow down to us. The only way out of this God complex is humility, recognizing there is a God and we are not Him.