In March, this blog will be 15 years old and, with over 1400 posts, is an absolute failure and I’m, finally, ok with that.
Let me be clear, this blog is a failure by many standards, one of which is that it is, to my knowledge, no ones favorite blog. I am rarely tagged in post with someone saying, “Did you read this?” This is also true of my podcast and my youtube channel, but I’m not mad about it, anymore, and the reason is this, I’m not a scientist and I’m not trying to cure cancer. I make bubble gum.
Cancer researches are doing good work. They take their job seriously and rightfully so. They show up to a lab or a hospital, trying to cure the most devastating disease for which we have few answers.
I, on the other hand, do not show up to lab, I show up to a studio, a key board, a mic and a camera trying to make different flavors of bubble gum, hoping one becomes your favorite flavor.
I literally used to think, “This resource I’ve created could change the way youth ministry is done.” I thought that because, at the time Rick Warren and Doug Fields were doing just that. Purpose Driven Church and Purpose Driven Youth Ministry were all the rage in the late 90’s and early oughts and I have the hubris to believe I could do the same.
Except, Rick and Doug weren’t trying to change anything, they were simply sharing what worked for them, in their context and it resonated with the whole world, and actually, for many years, changed the way church and youth ministry were done.
My lab mindset has been to try and solve a problem. Make stuff that gets views, likes and comments to satisfy my needy soul and the voracious algorithm to achieve something called success that I can’t really even define.
Have you ever gone to a fair and watch someone make taffy or cotton candy or watched some draw a caricaturist of someone and thought, “I’d like some of that.” This who I want to be; the artist who creates for wonder, does it in real time and hopes people will like it enough to get some themselves.
There are two quotes that are helping me change my “lab” mindset to a “studio” mind, both are from from Joshua Heath Scott, 5 Things Every Creative Person Should Consider (Inspired By Wendell Berry) video. In this video Joshua talks about the creative process and what it’s for and offers this quote by Wendall Berry,
“I am less important than I thought, I rejoice in that. My mind loses its urgings senses it’s nature and is free”
Joshua calls me (creatives) out by saying, and I paraphrase
“I we do not feel successful due to not enough likes or we feel like the Youtube Algorithm is screwing us, we feel unimportant.”
Josh nails it when he says that those watching his video are likely making things, a book that will be read, a song heard, etc. and hoping they will be liked. Then he says,
“We all just want to make things but we are slightly crippled because we think they have to be accepted. That’s not art, that’s not creativity. You’re not that important.”
He also says, “If you don’t like what I make, I am still going to make it”
Recognizing my unimportance, in the grand scheme of things, is the most freeing thing I can do every time I create something because it frees me to make bubble gum not cure cancer.
*takes deep breath*
If you’d like to read about why I think Youth Pastors are truly artists, you can read my series here