The Day I Realized This, It Crushed Me

des·ti·ny ˈdestinē/ noun
  1. the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.
    • the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

Today was a hard day. Today I gave up on destiny. For years I believed in a personal destiny to become what I thought God had intended for me. It seems like God has other plans, but I have no idea what they are. This is both a blessing and a curse.

When I finally said it out loud, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I had believed so hard for so long, it was just crushing. The idea of destiny was a torch I’d been carrying for a long time, and it was a relief to just let it go.

The curse part of this revelation is that I’m left with nothing to base my future on. My ideas are gone. My sense of direction is gone. My motivation is gone to achieve what I thought was mine by “right”. So, where do I put my time and energy now?

There’s a blessing in tossing away my destiny too. Truly, I have nothing left but faith, which isn’t such a bad thing. Where I once looked for signs of achieving my destiny, I look to Jesus and ask, “What’s next?” It’s kind of a relief.

As my journey as a full time youth pastor begins to wind up, with my “destiny”  in the wind, I find myself back in an adventurous place; something I have not experienced in a long time. Rather than looking for my destiny, my heart is open to whatever God should bring me.

I’d appreciate your prayers as I prepare for new adventures.

Do you believe in destiny?

Could your belief in destiny be holding you back?

 

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