Tag Archives: students

Seven Reasons Why Johnny Can’t Lead

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If you are concerned about why your students will not step up and lead, see if any of these may be true. I have been guilty of all of these, but no more. This generation is too important for us to ignore or waste the opportunities God gives us.

1. Johnny can’t lead because he is  burdened  and buried under a culture of average.

Even though numbers drive us, can we all work to get past this?  Can we get beyond numbers or competing with First Church down the street for the sake of finding out what God is doing  and do that. Average youth ministries won’t cut it for Johnny and he won’t be there.

2. Johnny can’t lead because he doesn’t understand the gospel.

The gospel says, lay down your life,  but Johnny’s culture says to save it, hold on to it, don’t sacrifice. Johnny can’t lead because he does not understand the gospel as Jesus taught it. Unfortunately we perpetuate that because we are afraid to challenge Johnny and fear losing him.

3. Johnny can’t lead because has had no one to model leadership for him.

Where have all the leaders gone? We have silo’d our ministry so much, our young men are never a part of men’s ministry. Our men need someone to mentor and out kids need mentoring. We should try to make this kind of connection a regular part of our ministries.

4. Johnny can’t lead because no one told Johnny he could.

We should be affirming our young men in their gifts and then invite them  to use and fine tune their gifts in the ministry as well as the chance to fail greatly.

5. Johnny can’t lead because Johnny doesn’t see the value in it.

Have we turned the Christian life, the great adventure into the great list of rules? Who wants to lead that?

6. Johnny can’t lead because his youth pastor can’t keep his or her hands off things.

Stop. Just stop. Quit trying to save your job and save your soul.

7. Johnny can’t lead because he is constantly being saved from failure.

Here is a quick primer for how failure should work

  • Give Johnny a task
  • Make him accountable
  • Equip him to succeed
  • Let him fail, but not to the point that it would crush him.  Protect but don’t save.
  • Thank him if it was his best effort and rebuke him if it was not.
  • Repeat

Why  should it be our goal to erase any excuses or blockades to the door that leads Johnny to taking his place? I believe, if Johnny steps through that door, it will be awfully hard for him to go back. Isn’t that what we want?

When A Student Leaves: Exit Strategies

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I hate it when a kid leaves our group. When a kid leaves, depending on the kid, several bad things can happen:

  • We lose momentum
  • We lose other kids
  • We lose leadership
  • We lose workers
  • We lose a friend
  • We lose our job, if it’s a bunch of kids

Kids can leave for any number of reasons. I recently lost a kid, not because of our program, but because of a church/relationships matter. Many kids slip away into the night and we don’t find our for weeks that they’ve quit coming. What I respect about this student, is that they wrote and told me they were leaving. They told me it wasn’t anything  I did, but they had to follow their family. What I hate, is losing a student that has so much potential. I miss the fact that I will miss their spiritual journey; to watch them grow, fail,and grow some more.

Here are a few ways to prevent or manage the damage of a students exit.

1. Steady the teetering

If you have some students or parents on the edge, meet it head on. Begin a conversation about what’s going on with their lives, give them a chance to vent. Let them put their struggles on the table. Don’t flinch, listen.

2. Strengthen what you have

Make sure you are calling or meeting with kids beyond group time. We can’t just phone it in anymore. Try some unplanned, impromptu stuff like a lunch, one night camping trip, or a quick road trip. Building community and relationships have to move beyond the youth room.

3. When a kid leaves, find out why

I used to not care, no, really, I didn’t . I felt like it was on a kid if they didn’t want to be here. Now, I try harder to weigh each case and be more proactive. I sat down with a students once who told me they were leaving, I could not convince her not to leave. What I did challenge her to do was tell the group why she was leaving. She did, and it erased any speculation and chatter of why she was leaving.

4. Encourage kids to see the future

When a student leaves, and it could effect others, move quickly to rally the troops. Talk with them about the future and the vision of the youth ministry. Share with them how you see them making this happen and that they are valued.

5. Don’t close the door or give away their seat

Kids are fickle. Whether they leave by their own choice to another group, or whether it  be a heat of the moment decision or a gradual drift, keep communication lines open. I have had kids leave and come back a year later. I have kids who went to other groups but still call me when they have a problem. Just because a kid is not in your group any longer, does not mean God has released you from them or cancelled any future plans to minister to them. Oh, that girl that left my group and told the group why she was leaving? I am performing her wedding this year.

You can’t stop kids from leaving. It’s part of the job. We have to learn, as hard as it may be, not to take each one personally. We have to look to the Lord, who Himself had a mass exodus at a critical time in his life. Yet, we find Him visiting with those same disciples, eating fish and chatting around the fire about life. If He can do it, so can we.