Designing Your Youth Space: Plan Like NYC


Because of our new youth room, my mind is attuned to anything that is talking about space. So, the other day I was listening to Diane Rehm  interviewing New York City Planning Commissioner, Amanda Burden. She had some great things to say about creating special spaces in a huge city like NYC. I’d like to offer a few quotes and then some commentary.

And just before that time, I met my most important mentor. His name was Holly White, William H. White, and he wrote “The Organization Man,” and he was an urbanologist who specialized in public spaces. And he said to me, you can measure the health of the city by the vibrancy of its streets and public spaces, and that became my passion.

ur·ban·ol·o·gist (ûrb-nl-jst)n. A sociologist who specializes in the problems of cities and urban life.

 

You could say, “You can measure the health of a youth ministry by it’s space.” but that is a little overboard. I would re-phrase it this way, “Rooms and space are an important aspect of a youth ministry’s ability to be healthy,” Buildings and room plans cannot change a heart, but it might put a teen at ease long enough to listen to the gospel. I have not done a formal study on this, but my guess is, the church in your town with the best facilities is getting the lion share of kids to show up. That does not mean they are doing everything well or even making disciples of Jesus, but they do have the raw material of the gathering to work with. 

We can swing overboard both ways on this topic. We can obsess about our meeting space or ignore it and say things like “It’s the Spirt that matters, not the room we meet in.” Agreed, to a point, but some teens may want to come to your creepy church basement to experience the Spirit. Let’s be people of balance. 

11:18:03
It is. And having the public spaces to study, it makes all the difference in the world because that’s what makes people fall in love with the city. The public spaces, the parks, the streets, just finding places that they can enjoy, have that respite, whether it’s on the waterfront, whether it’s in Bryant Park, or whether it’s in a small place in Paley Park, whether it’s on a sidewalk café. All of those things make a city wonderful.

I like the word respite. It’s possible that our youth rooms can be so busy (video games, lights, etc.) there is no respite. No place to think, talk, rest, or pray. In other words, we have to balance having the energy of Times Square and make room for the respite of Central Park. 

Yes. Well, you know, as you’ve heard, we have very, very broad, ambitious plans for shaping the whole city, but really how we judge a project is how it feels at the street. That’s what people really care about. How does it feel walking along that street? Are there many stores along an individual block? Are there shade trees in a park? Are there places to sit that are comfortable?

This is the key phrase “What does it feel like at street level”. When was the last time you looked at your space from a teens point of view? The “build it and they will come” may work for a few weeks, but if we watch how our teens gather, how they break up, how they sit together, it may clue us to the effort we should put into the seating and lay out of the rooms we meet in. 

When you sit at the water’s edge, can you see over the railing? Or does the railing block your view? Do you feel that there is a place for you for sun and shade, a table to hold your book? Each of these things is very important and details make all the difference.

Pay attention to detail. Your kids are. They know when it does not look right or feel right. Our rooms, their smell, their color, and their layout all my be making our jobs of ministering to our teens harder. 

 What do you think? Take the poll. 

5 Entry Level Ideas To Student-Led Leadership


One of my friends/admins from the Endeavor Facebook page recently wrote:

Plugging youth into jobs in your youth program is not student-led ministry. Far from it. We’re hearing from God but falling short of understanding. Time to equip youth to lead ministries of their own, not ours.

Let me first say that I think the quote is true. Plugging kids into our youth program is not student-led ministry; but I think plugging in kids, to begin with, is an essential part of any ministry that wants to get to student-led ministry. We all can’t just release kids to go crazy with their ideas, especially kids who may not know Christ and/or kids with no experience with leadership. We must allow kids a slide show of leadership and allow them to jump in where God has gifted them and where God has led them in prayer.

I learned a simple phrase a while back about how to get people involved in ministry

I do it you watch

I do it you help

You do it I watch

You do it I go do something else.

It’s worked for me for a lot of years. It’s easy to read a statement like the one that was posted and suddenly that overwhelmed feeling sets in and we ask, “But how do I get there?”

Let me offer 5 Levels of Entry To Leadership we can use until a kid can walk on their own

1. Constantly introduce the idea that teenagers can lead.

I talk about it, post articles on my Facebook page, etc. I try to make it who I am, instead of just something I do.

2. Give opportunities in the ministry you already have.

This is part of testing kids ability to serve, their ability to be committed (with conviction), and their ability to finish a task. Don’t step over this principle if you have a group of kids that are new to the idea of student leadership.

3. Introduce Wild Cards

A wild card is scenario where unless a kids steps up something will not get done. I call it a creative crises. Other leaders, your pastor, and your parents have to be involved in this process. This may mean you training to do things in your absence and then being absent or it may mean not having the message that night to see who has been praying and steps up to share.

4. Offer In House Projects

Another step you can take is by offering projects. Instead of having a full blown meeting, we take some Wednesdays and use half the meeting as project nights. I give the students parameters and let them work on the outreach, youth service, service project, etc. along with an adult facilitator.

5. Mentoring towards the end goal.

My goal in this process is getting kids to pray and seek the Lord for themselves rather than follow my designed path. I am working with several students to see them step up even more. I do my best to speak into their lives

If you are looking for a starting point, check out Pray 21 to get your kids thinking in the right direction.

Where are you starting out in your student leadership journey? Have some thoughts on the subject? Leave them below.

 

 

 

Is Your Library Holding You Back?


Back in the days of books and large libraries and offices for youth pastors, when I had a need, I would go to my “go to” books on games, lessons, etc. (See Ideas Library from YS) What I found out after the tornado stole our church and my library, I discovered something: I leaned on my library too much.

Libraries are not just books. Libraries are a collection of anything, websites, camps, speakers, conferences, ebooks, etc. The questions is, are our “go to” resources keeping us stupid and outdated. Just because it’s easy to go to our favorites in a pinch doesn’t mean that it should be our first choice.

It’s not just a questions of ease, it’s questions of creativity. When I lost 90% of my library in the tornado, as well as my office, I discovered a new level of creativity. I became much more nimble in my thoughts and had to think more about what was best and not just what was easiest. Loosing my library also freed me up to pray more. It’s amazing how much we  will not pray about something when we feel like we have an ace in the hole somewhere.

I also learned to rely more on people than books or websites. Real people had better ideas than my books. They had current, passionate, and more fun ideas than my books. Shocking right? It only took a natural disaster to show me that.

To this day, one year later, I do not have an office or a library of “go to” resources and I am better because of it.

Challenge: Pack up your “go to” stuff a month (or more) and see what happens.

Solving For X in Youth Ministry


 

I have been going back to school for the past two years to get my 2 year degree and eventually my four year degree. Part of this journey is taking Algebra. I hate algebra. I am a right brain kind of guy so numbers scare me. I tried to make the argument, to myself, that the only number I need to count up to was 15. That is how many fit on the van. If I count the same number going on and the same summer coming off I’m good. Needless to say, I lost the argument. You learn a a few things when it’s it’s your third time taking a math class. One of them is understanding that their is an emphasis on process and order to solving for X (It should go without saying that Jesus is the x factor and must be part of any biblical youth ministry, but there, I said it anyway)

All of us have an X factor in youth ministry. We are looking for the missing number that makes our equation of youth ministry work.

What times x = more kids

What times x = students participation

What time x = growing disciples.

These are a all equations we wrestle with at one time or another. Algebra helps us out by giving us a system called PEMDAS. This is the order of operations for solving for X. The PEMDAS order for math is

Parenthesis (solve what is inside the parenthesis first)

Exponents (take care of the those tiny numbers in the corner or those bigger numbers)

Multiplication

Divison

Addition

Subtraction

If you follow the order you solve for x. If you try to solve your equation out of order, you come up with a different and wrong answer. What does this have to do why youth ministry? Everything. God is a God of order. First things first. If you are trying to solve for x in youth ministry, maybe you are trying to solve the problem out of order.

Putting kids in ministry before they are ready.

Not communicating with parents before launching program.

Not telling your spouse about that event.

Throwing something on your leaders before you’ve trained them.

Doing all of these, out of order leads to wrong answers and a confused and disorganized youth ministry. Let me suggest creating your own PEMDAS for youth youth ministry. Someone came up with an acronym for remembering PEMDAS, it goes like this Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. Try creating a PEMDAS for your big equations of youth ministry

Programming

Training

Discipleship

Ministry

Preaching

Order of Service

Here  is my personal PEMDAS for ministry

Prayer and Preaching- If God is not in it from the start, I am doomed to fail. If my message is ready, everything else in the program can fail.

Excellence- Do every part of the program/ministry with excellence.

Move Leaders Into Position- Never create a job I have to do myself.

Details- Pay attention to the small things like communicating with parents and leadership or checking the weather forecast for any upcoming event.

Altar Time- Allow kids to respond to what God puts on their hearts.

Student Involvement and Feedback – Kids make it work. Involve them early, ask their opinion, get their feedback.

This is an over arching PEMDAS but it helps guide my weekly and monthly programming. If I do things out of order, X becomes fuzzier and fuzzier. Try creating your own PEMDAS and leave it in the comments below.

Why Isn’t This In Our Job Description?


Schools teaches Math, History, etc.

The military teaches discipline, leadership, and job skills

Sports teams teach sportsmanship and how to pay the game

The church teaches about God? Really? Is that all? You may say, “Isn’t that enough? Think about the job description you received when you were hired. How much of that are you fulfilling? Now, think about what you are CALLED to do. How much of that are you fulfilling? The Church, faith, overlaps every other part of society. Who we are as believers impacts schools, military, and sports teams (just ask Lin and Tebow).

What does (not has) the church produced in recent years? We can’t produce Christians because God does that, we don’t. So, what does the church produce? Can’t we produce better educated, leaders of characters with skills to impact the world around us? Why isn’t it in our job description to help kids with job skills, leadership ability, character development, and opportunities to make an impact?

Why do churches shoot so low by asking youth pastors to “run the program” ? Why do they set the bar so low? As you can see, I have more question than answers and I imagine you might have a few of your own.

How can you expand, re-write, or just toss your job description to be more effective?

The Sting of Confomity


 

When I was a young youth pastor, I thought it was my job, neigh, my obligation to change the church for the glory of God. I thought it was my job to be the radical all the time and to drag these spiritual neanderthals out of the 19th Century (or earlier) and into the now. Then comes the sting, the sting of conformity. A sudden and painful realization that things are not swinging my way (or God’s way, as I believed).

No one likes to get stung. And a sting is nothing you plan for, it just happens. I have an app on my phone called a Whack Pack. It’s an idea generator to get you thinking in a different direction about a challenge your are stuck on. I hit random and the card Conform came up. Not the card I wanted. I am not good at conforming, still after 20 year. But this stinger got me. In my current situation, I realize that conformity is the answer, not the problem.

Most of us are familiar with Romans 12: 1, 2 about not conforming to the world. From this, I always assumed conforming on any level was a bad idea, so I didn’t. What I realized over the years is, there is a place for conformity in the church. My areas of conformity over the years include

  • Conforming to the Pastor’s vision (not trying to get my Pastor to conform to mine) 
  • Conforming to the musical traditions of the church (find joy in God, not in style)
  • Conforming to the culture of the city I serve. (finding ways to fit in rather than stand out)

Another level of conformity I struggle with, especially with age, is conforming to the level of the spiritual level of our students. No matter where our kids fall on the spiritual spectrum, we should conform to the level of our students for a season, until a door of opportunity opens to raise them up. Isn’t this what Jesus did?  

“Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage” Philippians 2:6

Do you struggle with conformity? Do you think it’s the role of the youth pastor to lead the radical way? What are your thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

Two Words That Do Not Go With Discipleship


 

I was driving my 17 year old son to school the other day. There are two roads to his school. One involves a light, the other involves a stop sign. I usually take him the way of the stop light. It’s straighter. My route involves going straight and then making a left. The other road is curvy, so I would have to drive slower and it takes me past the school and I have to come back to it, longer right? When we reached the road that my son said was faster, I could have argued and said, “No it’s not” and gone straight. So we went his way, but it still bugged me whether it was faster or not.

So, in my typical anal fact finding ways, and a chance to tell my son his route was not faster, I went back the same way I came and timed it. I sat in front of the school, hit the stop watch on my iphone and took off. I drove between 40-45 mph. My son’s route back to where we started took 2:55.3 seconds. I then turned and went my way, keeping my speed the same as the other route. I hit the light but I was only delayed a few seconds before the light turned green. Arriving back at the school, which some who saw me the first time probably thought I was crazy, I stopped the watch, it read 3:39.5. My son was right, it was faster. I was a bit shocked, I thought my was was faster.

Thisis the first word you cannot put together with discipleship: Faster. Faster is a selling word. Faster sells cars, cleaning products, and tax audits. All of these are things we want to go fast and to help us get done with whatever we have to do to get to the thing we want to do. Faster is provable. Just time it.

Which is the easier way to tie your shoes? Bunny ears or the traditional method? Neither to a man with no hands and a man with no feet doesn’t care. Easier is also a selling word, use this, it’s easier. Easier is a matter of opinion and context. What is easy to for one, is difficult for another.

This is the second word that goes with disciplehsip: easier. Faster and easier are not the words we should be looking for when it comes to discipleship.

Is it easier to do discipleship one on one or in a small group?

Is it faster to make disciples if we get everyone to make the meeting or the retreat?

If someone tells you there is an easier or faster way to do discipleship, or even ministry in general, run away. It does not exist. They both can be tested but the conditions must be the same as the way the person that told you how they they reached X faster.

Words you could use to judge any discipleship method or practice

Effective

Condusive

Reasonable

Productive

Faster and easier are great words to sell products but poor words to use when leading people in the way of Christ. There was nothing easy or fast about Jesus’ time with his disciples or His crucifixion on the cross. Easier and faster are words about us. To make our job easier. Here are two words that do go with discipleship: glorious work.

Throw your two cents and two words in the mix. What two words would you use to describe discipleship?

 

 

Hearing The Gospel For The First Time


 

Think about this for the moment. Hearing the gospel for the first time. Those of us who have been Christians for a while, can’t really imagine this. We heard it, accepted it, and joined the rank and file. Maybe that’s the problem. We did not have to find an underground church to hear this good news. We did not kicked out of our houses because we confessed Christ to our Muslim family. We did not have to share a portion of the Bible that was passed from house to house. Yet, in America, there are kids hearing the gospel for the first time. They are in your youth group.

I just read a post by Seth Godin. He said

“Campbell’s soup is almost never bought for the first time. It is a replacement purchase. No one switches to Campbell’s either. They buy it because their mom did.”

Many of our kids are being handed down something less than the good news from previous generations. They’re inheriting the religion of their parents, but in many cases, it’s not the good news. Our kids have been taught that it’s good to go to church,  the bible is a good book, be faithful but not fanatical, and give when it’s convenient. This is not good news. It’s bad. The kids we get speak to every week have not made a choice, they come with what was passed on to them.

How would you/do you get your teens turn in their Campbells soup for something “new”?

 

Is Your Youth Group Lame? It Depends.


 

I had a great conversation with a parent yesterday because we were on the same page (I know, shocking!), but she shared how her daughter and another came to them after a recent service and said that youth group that night was lame.

A little back story. This youth group has had everything handed to it. They have not had a youth pastor last longer than a year in the past five years. I am launching into year two. The upside of of the conversations is that we both agree that both girls were not taking enough responsibility or ownership the group. Just because someone says your group is lame does not mean it is.  So what does the phrase, “This group is lame.” really mean? And how do you know if it is or isn’t? It depends.

Take The “Is My Group Lame?” Quiz

It depends, are doing all the planning? Yes? Then it’s lame.

It depends, are you tapping into kids gifts and letting them shine? No? Then it’s lame.

It depends, are you caving into the consumerism mentality of the spoiled few? Yes? Then it’s lame.

It depends, are you discipling (disciplining, correcting, guiding, etc) your kids? No? Then it’s lame.

It depends, are you trying to please everyone? Yes? Then it’s lame.

It depends, are you letting kids lead? No? Then it’s lame

It depends, are you willing to let kids fail? No? Then it’s lame.

It depends, Is Jesus the focus of your mission? No? Then it’s lame.

Did you flunk? Are you lame? The good news, your group is not incurably lame. You can change.

So, what is the opposite of lame? Do the opposite of the above things and find out.

 

 

When Your Youth Ministry Is Too Weak To Lead


 

If you have read though many of my posts, you know I am a big proponent of student-led ministry. This is good in theory, but it requires, if they are new to the concept, hard work to retrain their mindset and the mindset of the church who might have certain expectations for you.

In small youth groups, which are most youth groups in America, 10-15 kids, trying to get your teens to own their youth ministry feels like a herculean task. You want them to carry this new standard but they are too weak hold it let aloe carry it. I began to think about this weakness and what causes it, and what we can do about it. Here are a few of my thoughts:

1. Spiritual Starvation- Youth groups that are built on games and entertainment, when approached with the idea of student leadership and it’s costs, sometimes choke on this idea. I know preachers preach meat over milk, but sometimes you have to go back to the bottle just so they can hold on to the knife and fork. Go back to the basics and the “why’s?” of why you meet and covering the basics of the gospel.

2. No Exercise- Youth groups who are not used to servant projects or mission trips, possibly have an inbred mentality of us four no nore. They haven’t exercised their faith in a long time and left them in a type of spiritual atrophy. Get those muscles working again in your church, your community, or anywhere else in the world and you’ll see their muscle tone return.

3. No Energy- The youth group that suffer from this might need some outreach opportunities to their friends. They have fatigue from too little or maybe from doing to much. Pulling off a big deal like a concert or event, give the group the big picture of what they can do for their youth ministry and community. Likewise, scaling back on a very busy schedule may free your kids up to lead

4. In-Fighting- It could be that your youth group has been fighting so much they are emotionally exhausted from tearing into one another. When countries experience this, from a coo or rebellion, it becomes more difficult to govern and make progress. Maybe there needs to be a peace treaty drawn up and you play the role of ambassador getting parties to sign it for the sake of the group.

5. Spiritual Anorexia and Bulimia- This youth group suffers from a identity problem. As much as you tell them they are the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ, they just see themselves as nobodies, and so they purge themselves of the nutrients they gobble in your meetings. Lessons on self image, who we are in Christ, and who is the church, may get them to a healthier self image and hold on to the meat of being leaders.

In the end, even though we want to reboot the group and get them growing, we may have to carry our group until they can carry themselves. Be patient, feed them well, exercise them regularly, work for peace, and eventually they will pick up their faith and run with it, then you’ll have to try to keep up with them.