Tag Archives: Jesus

Good Youth Ministry Begins With Asking Why

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I have been reading a book by Simon Sinek called Start With Why. It is a marketing/leadership book for businesses but it really challenges the reasons why we don’t ask why and why we should be asking why more. The premise is simple: People are not attracted to what we do or how we do it, but why we do what we do. He challenges us to always begin our endeavors with Why?

For youth ministries, this means getting away from selling our long list of programs to students and getting down to telling a better story of why we created the programs in the first place.

Let me offer seven questions we should be asking about our youth ministries and ourselves:

1. Why do I do, or still do, youth ministry?

“Because I am called” or “Because I can’t do anything else” are both sad answers and do not inspire anyone. Dig deeper.

2. Why do I preach what I preach? 

“It’s my job” is lame and keeps you from changing the way you lead your group. Dig deeper

3. Why do I have daily devotions and prayer?

Is it because you feel guilty or you think God may punish you if you do not? Reflect not on the what or how long, but the discipline itself. Healthy youth ministry begins with healthy leaders.

4. Why do we meet?

If you can answer this question, programming will be a breze.

5. Why do we have small groups?

By asking why, we eliminate false answers such as “Because everyone else has them”

6. Why do we have outreaches?

Is it about the numbers? Go deeper and you’l find a better reason to reach our to your community.

7. Why do I do or should I do family ministry?

We do not ask this questions often enough because many ministries do not do this well, so we don’t ask.

Asking why makes us uncomfortable and it should. It reveals how little foundation we have for doing what we do. Asking why makes us unhappy in the short term but if we ask and reflect on it, it could lead us to reformulating what we do.

We cannot coast along in youth ministry with out asking why. If we’ll start with why we may just avoid the disappointing question, “What happened?”

Which of these questions challenge you most?

Is there a why question you have been pondering? Tell us what part of youth ministry we should being asking why about.

 

Is Your Youth Ministry A Secret?

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Think about it. Much of our work as youth pastors is done in secret. We plan many of our messages, have meetings, and do youth work in secret. We don’t mean it to be a secret but  it just winds up that way. We’re not trying to hide what we do but inadvertently block the view of those who are desperately looking for who we are and what we are all about. Jesus extols the virtues of secret in Matthew 6

““Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

I am not asking we violate this. Jesus references the Pharisees, who flaunted their spirituality and false piety. I am not saying we take our spirituality and make it front page news. I am saying that much of what we do in youth meetings is secret to a world of young people who will never attend our youth meetings, who desperately need to see it and experience outside of the four walls of our church.

I needed some inexpensive used tires this past weekend. The usual place I go was too busy and they did not have enough used tires, which was my budget. I found a place not too far from me and they did not work in secret.

 

Think about it. When you go to a traditional garage, you drive in, drop off your keys, and then you wait. What they are doing to your car is a secret. It leaves your mind to wonder:

  • Are they really working on my car?
  • When will they be done?
  • Are they taking good care of my car?
  • Are they messing with anything else?

Secrecy breeds paranoia. This tire place I went to worked in the open. I drove up and saw a row of jacks in the front of the business. I was greeted by a service tech and brought to the back where I got to pick out the tires I wanted for the price I wanted.I saw him grab the tires, roll them out, jack up my truck and put the tires on, all in about 20 minutes.

 

What is your youth ministry currently doing “secretly’, that you could do more openly?

  • Evangelism
  • Discipleship
  • Community
  • Worship

This Wednesday we are borrowing an ice cream truck and going around our neighborhood and passing out free ice cream. We are taking who we are publicly. We don’t want people to wonder what goes on inside those four walls two times a week. We want a community to know, this is the spirit of what is happening all the time and who we desire to be consistently.

This Wednesday, we are visiting the seniors and the shut ins of our church. We don’t want them, or the church as whole, wandering what are doing or what we we are about. We don’t want our secrecy to conjure untrue thoughts in the minds of our congregation.

This Wednesday we are visiting those students who have not been in a while. We want them to know that our care is not a secret, but it lives and breathes outside our youth room.

Do your youth work in the open, dispel everyone’s preconceived ideas of what your church is about and dispel the paranoia of your church, board, and pastor. You do good work, don’t keep it a secret. God does great work, do it in the open.

 

 

The Myth of Fairness

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There is nothing fair about life or ministry, yet, we spend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to make everything fair for ourselves, our our youth ministry, and our leaders. Jesus was not fair. Jesus chose less qualified people and shunned the most qualified. Trying to be fair:

  • Decreases trust in our leadership.
  • Hampers our ability to make hard decisions.
  • Pushes us towards people pleasing.
  • Leads us to be double minded.
  • Cautions us from taking risks
  • Keeps us from pulling the trigger on important projects.

It’s not fair that we give scholarships to some kids for camp and not others. It’s not fair that we choose some to be leaders and not others. It’s not fair that we spend more time with students than others, but we do and we should stop feeling guilty about it.  Jesus did not apologize for choosing Peter, James, and John to be with him during pivotal moments. He did not apologize to the Jews for blessing Samaritans. He did not apologize to the Pharisees for saying that prostitutes and thieves would make it into the kingdom before them.

If we have a chance to be fair, in certain cases, we should. Trying to build our lives or ministries centered on fairness is like chasing Big Foot, it’s a myth.

Where are you being fair where you should be leading? I think my post Timing Is Everything is complimentary to this)

How has being fair cost you?

How has not being fair led you to success?

When Kids Say: I’ve Seen This Trick Before

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I was eating today at a japanese restaurant. I had not planned on eating at the grill for one simple reason: I had seen all his tricks before. It made me think, how often do students say the same thing about our program : “I’ve see this trick before”. It could be that we beat a game to death, sing the same songs, preach in the same way or on the same subject. Magicians have the same trouble. They do the same tricks for a year and then work on new material. You wouldn’t pay to see the magician do the same tricks over and over would you? Magicians and Hibachi Chefs and Youth Pastors need to learn a few new tricks or at least customize the old ones. I mean, I have been bored with my own program and I’m the one leading it. Anyone feeling me out there?

Doing tricks on a hibachi is great for a large table of people, with kids. Even if you have seen the tricks before you get a kick out of watching the kids reaction who’ve never seen this before. There were two of us sitting at the hibachi table. He did the same tricks: The onion volcano choo choo, the egg role (Ha ha) etc. There were two of us. But see, he was stuck in a rut. He was trained to cook the same way for every customer. How about you? Have you quit customizing your program and turned it into a one size fits all? Don’t be shocked if kids quit coming because they’ve seen that trick before.

Watch this to see what I mean Amazing Hibachi Chef

Did you see anything amazing? Probably not. You probably have a chef in your town who does the same tricks. I’m not taking anything away from the guy, he has skills.

But, what if my hibachi cook took the time to know me and when I came in he said, “I have been working on a new trick just for you that you have never seen.” You bet I’d be back more often to see it. Our kids need us to think, pray, and create more ways for them to see, understand and receive the gospel. Jesus only did the mud in the blind eyes thing once. Why? If he had done it all the time he would have lost the crowds. The crowds said of Him, “All the people were amazed and said to each other, “What is this teaching? With authority and power he gives orders to evil spirits and they come out!” Luke 4:36. Jesus brought something new to the table that the crowds had not heard or seen.

So, What if..

1. You met somewhere different

2. You didn’t preach that night (someone else did or no one did)

3. You had a foot washing service.

4. You had communion.

5. You knew your audience better.

6. You scaled down or up accordingly.

7. You did something specific with a kid or a group of kids in mind.

8. You had a prayer line or just a night of prayer.

9. You anointed kids with oil for service.

10. You told new stories (instead of those old ones over and over)

11. Students led the service.

12. You got better at communicating or chose a different communication style

13. What if you used art to tell your message.

14. You changed the way you call kids to the altar or close the service.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Variety is the spice of life. You don’t have to change every week, just enough that keeps your kids from guessing your order of service every week.

Worship: Pardon The Interruption

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I was in a prayer meeting with six or seven students. One of the leaders brought an IPhone to play worship music on. I do this often as well but tonight the inevitable happened; in the middle of a song the phone rang, later you could hear an email come through, then a Words With Friends update.

I could have taken the route of saying, “nothing should distract you from worshipping God”. Then I began to think of worship as a relational activity with God rather than to God.

What if God wants to interrupt our worship? Our song? Our prayer? Our dance? What if he has something to tell us or reveal to us?

Many religions objectify their god. Their god is a static tool for them to worship. The god simply sits and listens to the chants and prayers and is under no obligation to interact with it’s worshippers. But this is not true of our God.

We teach our students and ourselves to focus on worshipping Jesus and to not be distracted. But, what if the thought that we think is  a distraction, is from God himself?

  • Maybe their is sin God wants us to repent of in the middle of our Chris Tomlin song? Isn’t that what the presence of God does? All things come to light. In God’s presence, Isaiah became aware of his foul mouth.
  • Jesus said,  “So if you are presenting a sacrificei at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 Maybe God wants us to stop worshipping and reconcile a relationship.

I guess my overall point is that God is not an idol of static worship.  He is the ever-living God who wants to celebrate a son coming home, forgive a sinner who repents, hug a child seeking love, befriend a lonely soul seeking a friend. Let us worship God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Let us leave room for God to interrupt our singing, our raising of hands, our kneeling and focus so we may worship Him with our obedience.