Tag Archives: church

The Lure Of Becoming A Secular Youth Ministry

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Secular sounds like an antiquated word in this day and age, but it’s the only one I could think of to describe the alternative to a faith based, radical youth ministry.

The lure of becoming a secular youth ministry is very appealing. It calls to us. It beckons like a siren to

  • run a program instead of making disciples.
  • keep our head down and do our job.
  • avoid engaging the community we live in with the gospel.
  • put in office hours like everyone else on our block.
  • do what we’re told instead of what is best. Compliance is king.
  • not challenging kids to follow Jesus for fear they will leave.
  • preach behavior modification rather than an all sufficient Savior.
Youth ministry used to be radical, now it’s normal. What separates our youth ministries from the Boys and Girls Club, the YMCA, or other social relief agencies? Their is nothing wrong with any of the aforemetioned organizations, they’re just not the church. 
I miss Mike Yaconelli. Many times at the end of Youth Specialties he’d encourage us to go back to our churches and “get fired for the glory of God.” Today we’d tell him, “Good idea Mike, but not in this economy.”
Have you felt the lure? The passion drain? The desire for your youth ministry to be liked, respected and above all, normal? Do you have a suggestion on how we can avoid the trap of becoming a secular youth ministry? Tell us about it.

Six Ways You Can Make The Next Guys Job Easier

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When Bill Clinton left office so George Bush could move in, Bill left a little present. Many of the White House staff took the W’s off all the computer keyboards. Very funny. But, if we take more than we leave in a youth ministry, it only hurts the future. I’ve inherited a few youth ministries in my time. In some cases, it was like I won a burned out house in a lottery. Now, it was probably, not the youth pastors fault entirely, but I suspect he did not help the situation. If you are planing on being at your current position forever, then ignore this post. If you think you might move on , can we please make the next guys’s job easier? Here are six things you could leave the next guy, that would make their job easier.

1. Leave them good records. 

Most of us walk into a group blind. We don’t know which end is up or how to approach our new group. Good records on attendance, visitors, events, etc. let me know where you left off and where I need to take the group. Leave behind a good list of names and address, maybe even some photo’s with names. Let me recommend Youth Tracker. It does this and so much more.

2. Leave them kids who know what consequences are.

I had one youth group that thought it was normal to talk while I was up speaking. I don’t mean whispering, I mean talking out loud. I don’t know how the previous youth pastor managed that. In addition, I could get no previous staff member to discipline a child. The group had an entitlement mentality and the staff had a “we don’t want to run anyone off” mentality. Reality Check: We don’t do a kid (or the future youth pastor) a favor by not offering our group a fair and consistent process of discipline. Those two girls? Yeah, they did not last long.

3. Leave them adult leaders to help them carry the load.

Leave behind a few leaders who get it. Leaders who know the group, know the process, and know how to work with the new guy. Leave some leaders who know how to carry on without you and are not loyal to a man but committed to the Lord and loyal to the group. Leave behind some adult leaders with a bigger vision than yours and the group you helped build, will be able to move forward.

4. Leave them kids who are familiar with the gospel, the Bible as a whole, and an idea of what discipleship is.

I have had groups where I shared a message about following Jesus and the group thought I was speaking a foreign language. Every Bible study, message, and devotion we share is an opportunity to galvanize biblical concepts and make it to where their is a lot less re-learning to do when the new guys show up. Let’s not preach or teach to save our jobs, look cool, or please people. If we keep the Lord and His Word center stage, we”ll leave a group behind that won’t think the new guy is speaking Cantonese.

5. Leave the next guy a cave full of student disciples (Leaders)

Some youth pastors show up to their new jobs like Elijah and wind up weeping over the fact that their are none who love the Lord and all have bowed to Baal. The Lord told Elijah, I have a cave full of people who love me who have not bowed to Baal. Let’s be intentional about making disciples of Jesus and not just disciples of us. When we are leaving a church, we should have talk with those students and tell them to get on board with the new guy. A youth group is bigger than us. There is a plan far bigger in play for this group and we are just part of it. Let’s not make it about us.

6. Leave them an epic example of how much you loved God and these kids.

I used to get mad when I came into a church that had a great youth ministry before I got there. Why? Because for the first year, all I would hear about was the last guy and the great events etc. Now I understand, they raised the bar. They lifted expectations and now I could not just fall back on my laurels, I had to step up. A youth ministry that demands the best of the next guy is a good thing. This does not make my job harder, it challenges me to step up and grow.

 

Tell me about about what you are leaving the next guy or tell me what the other guy did or did not leave you that you wish he had.

What Is Our Youth Group NOT Advertising?

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What does this sign say? More importantly, what does it NOT say and do we put out things about our youth ministry just like it?

Clearly, the grocery store is going for price point sale. We have cheap stakes, they are not the best steaks, but they are the cheapest. Do we “sell” our youth ministry in a similar fashion? Do we say things like “We are a fun youth group!” We use that to get kids to come and hope they stay. It may be true that our our youth groups are fun but is it a bait and switch tactic?

Jesus told people up front, this thing called discipleship, it’s tough. Now, I am not in favor of pinning a visitor to the wall with an all nothing proposition on their first visit, but I wonder how much this proposition comes up at all in youth groups.

I also do not think we should advertise our youth ministries as the cheapest faith in town, “Come on by, we won’t make you angry by challenging you or preaching the gospel, but heck we’ll have fun.”

What do you think? Do you think youth ministries still practice bait and switch tactics and is this hurting youth ministries (and churches) in the long run in making disciples? Tell me what you think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five Places You Could Be Instead Of Your Office

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I used to like being in my office, until I figured out I was being ineffective in my ministry and sheltered from those who I need to spend time with. If I am not in my office, here is where you may find me and you may want to join me

 

1. I am with other church members, including my Pastor

I may be having lunch, dinner, or breakfast with all kinds of people. Why? Because I want to hang out. I want them to know the real me. The best way to do that is to not be in my office, but to be where they are. I may be playing golf, eating, or something else but I am trying to get know my congregation so I can share my vision and passion for young people. I am also listening for red flags about the ministry and for needs our youth group can meet for that person.

2. I am at the library or coffee shop thinking

“Thinking?” you say? yes, thinking. I need think time. I need time to process what God is saying to me through His Word and prayer. My to do list is not as important as my think list. I need time to think about that kid, that parent, that staff member, and that challenge I am facing. Can’t I do that in the office? Not me. I need the change of atmosphere.

3. I am at the thrift store.

Why am I at the thrift store?

  • I am building my library cheaply with good books
  • I am find cool things such as games, trophies, and more to use with our youth ministry
  • I am finding whacky costumes and hats
  • I am finding weird giveaways for the next game night. 
4. I am home
I lived for too long, living out of my car and my office and letting my house get wrcked. I go home occasionally for lunch or otherwise to do laundry, dishes, and general clean up, so the burden is not completely on my wife. My home, and yours, is more important than the office because the people we love the most live there.
5. I am working
You mean you are working and not in the office? That is right. Shuffling papers is not my style and is not very productive. It is an illusion of real work. More people work out of the office than in these day. Check out the Mobile Work Force InfoGraph from Mashable. I am
  • I am taking pictures and posting them on Facebook
  • I am textting kids and parents
  • I am sending e-mails 
  • I am creating
Could I do this from the office? Sure, but it cuts down on my being able to multi-task effectively.
Do you have office hours? What are they?  Do you have an office?  Are you in it too much? Where do you go when you are not there and is it productive? Let me know, I’d love to here about it.

Is There Hope For The Un-Relational Youth Pastor?

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We all know that youth ministry and ministry in general is driven by relationships, but what about those of us who are not anti-social but growing relationally challenged? I will say that early on in my life I felt like I had to be the life of the party and entertain everyone around me, now that I am older I don’t feel the need to do so, but I look at relationships, especially with young people differently.

I grew up an only child, so I am used to having alone time. In fact, the older I get, the more I like to be alone. I like to read, study, you know, all those things many of did not like when were younger. How has my relationship style changed with students and just about everyone else? Here are a few things I am practicing:

  • Shorter burst of relational time but more meaningful.
  • Say things that matter and skip the fluff.
  • Longer periods of quiet and reflection so when I do jump in to the thick of it I am charged and ready for it.
  • More texting (short encouragements).
  • Less Facebook time (especially chatting)
  • More meal time with students.
  • Not feeling guilty if I am not always there.
  • Letting others step into the spot light.

These are not just tips from a guy who is growing older in his profession, they are nuggets for anyone who thinks they have to be “on” all the time. I don’t think am losing a step in the area of relationships but as choosing my steps more wisely.

Do you struggle in building/maintaining relationships with students? Tell us about it. Have some more tips for the relationally challenged? Share those too.

Do Mega Youth Groups Have A Mega Responsibility?

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I got a call the other day from a mega youth movement in our city. They were inviting me to an end of school rally. I appreciated the call and thanked him. A few days later I received another call inviting me to the same event. I had been thinking about mega-churches and mega youth movements and their responsibility to the rest of the body of believers within the community.

Mega churches are, dynamically, like Wal-Mart. When a Wal-Mart moves into a community , it has an adverse effect on mom and  pop stores, usually resulting in them closing. Mega-churches have a similar effect. I define a mega church or youth ministry of over 100, since the average church congregation is about 100. Wal-Mart has no responsibility to mom and pop stores, but what if they did? What if they shared marketing secrets or better customer service tips? This would level the playing field to some degree and then it would be up to those owners to change to get a chance to compete within the market place.

What if Mega-Churches or groups did the same? Rather than gutting our youth ministries or young adult programs and saying too bad, teach us how to thrive. Now, I know the mega’s have events that equip the body. They host larger speakers, conferences,  and concerts that smaller groups could not afford. That certainly helps, but there are some other things I’d like to see them do.

I’d like to see mega movement youth leaders and youth pastors

  • Join a local network- Many times these leaders will say they do not have time. Bunk! Come hang out with us.
  • Teach us something- Share what you know with us. Teach us how to draw students or have an awesome camp.
  • Partner with us- Bring your awesome drama team or band to our group.
  • Reach out to us- I want to hear from you, not your people. Mega groups draw criticism because of isolationism. Break down the walls.
This is not sour grapes, just an observation. I am also not a spiritual socialist, believing all things should be equal among us.  I think Mega youth groups have a mega responsibility to the rest of the body within a community, unless they want to be Wal-Mart.  At the very least, don’t ignore us. We may be mom and pop churches but we have purpose. Invest in us, build relationships with us, and then let us stand on our own and we ‘ll see what God will do. Next time, don’t call me to come to your event, call me to come into relationship with you.
What do you think? Do Mega-Youth Ministries or movements have a responsibility to the rest of the body within a community or is it all cut-throat and the strongest survive? Tell me what you think.

Six Pressures of Preaching In Youth Ministry

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Preaching. It means different things to different people. To some it means a short devotion, to others it is a 45 minute message with spitting and sputtering included. I love preaching but there are pressures that go along with it that I do not enjoy. When you get up to preach in youth group I can feel all those eyes on me wanting something, expecting something different. Here are the some of the pressures I feel come through those eyes and occasionally their mouths.

1. Say Something Funny:  When speaking to youth there is a pressure to be funny. We think, if we do not include some humor in this talk some how, we will lose them. The challenge for us, and by us I mean me, is to be funny and stay on topic. Some youth pastors, believe it or not, are not naturally funny. Many of us have a dry sense of humor versus being boisterous. Some of us are Steven Wright and some of us are Chris Farley. No comedian is the perfect model of funny, they are all very distinct and so are you. Be funny, but don’t feel the pressure to say something funny that will  take away from being naturally funny. Mistakes get made this way. Trust me, I know.

2. Say Something New:   We are preaching from the same book. We talk about the same people. Jesus seems to be part of every message. The good news is, this generation doesn’t know the stories and some do not know who Jesus is. This gives us a chance to present new ieas to fertile ground. It’s all new to them. For those who do know Jesus and the Bible (a.k.a church kids), can sometimes give us that look that says, “Oh, great, I’ve heard this before.”  We can’t and shouldn’t try to come up with something “new”, but to express these old truths in new ways. Try props, location (preach from on top of a table when doing the Mt. of Olives) , or preach in the dark when talking about the sun turning black. Be aware though, designing creative message every week is another pressure we often create.

3. Say Something I Agree With: Preaching against culture to young people is like preaching against bones or peeing on trees to a room full of dogs. Culture  can become a whipping boy. It’s convenient. We may think “Lady Gaga will surely supply my next sin to preach against.” Preaching against culture is easy. Lot’s of material there. Your kids may nod their heads but they are not listening. They are not erasing songs off their ipods or blocking You Tube from their computer. I do not think culture is the issue. I think transformation in Christ, long term , is. There will always be another Harry Potter or Lady Gaga to bash, but there is only one Jesus to lift up.

4. Say Something Relevant: Is this on the test? Isn’t this what we ask our teachers when studying for a test so we know whether we should be listening and learning this material? I find that kids do the same thing with preaching. Is this relevant to my high school or jr. high world? I am 43 and I find it tough, sometimes, to remember my jr. high years. The good news is, I have three kids and two of them are teenagers. It’s a great refresher course. In preaching, I can’t keep up with every trend or fad but I do know what is real, and that is the place I have to preach from.

5. Say Something, But Don’t Take Too Long: Keeping it short is tough for me. I want to say everything, but when I feel this way I have to remember what Jesus said, “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.”. I can’t say it all. As we get older we accumulate knowlege and experiences but we cannot fit them all nside a 15, 20 or 6 hour message. We know too much and our kids know so little. The pressure to share everything can derail the point of our messages, it has for me many times. Jesus told His disciple that it was better for Him to go away so The Comforter can come. I have to trust the Holy Spirit to say what I do not have the time to say. Jesus took the pressure off his physical self and placed it in the hands of God. Not a bad idea.

6. Say Something Meaningful: This may be the only pressure I put on myself. We have 52 weeks a year, minus 3 for holidays, revival, etc. so 49 weeks to say something that matters. There is the pressure to say it all in one night, as I described above, but you can ease that pressure if you see yourself as a long term partner in ministry rather than a one time, one year, one hit wonder. The key to relieving yourself of this pressure, is to pace yourself. Think longterm discipleship preaching and not just ” I have to get a response” preaching. Think about putting together a three month preaching calendar and let your students help you. Why guess what they want when they can tell you and then support it and help you design it?

I have not “preached” and will not “preach” all summer. This is new for me. It is a different kind of sabbatical for me. I think of it in terms of my favorite musical artist. What if our favorite music artist felt the pressure to put out an album or even a song every week? What if they did? Instead of hearing an inspiring, deep felt song that shares what the artist experienced in his/her life over the past year a we’d instead get songs about him or her sitting at the DMV and brushing their teeth. What dramatic thing can happen every week that deserves a song? There is a plus side to not preaching ever week. I am at a place where I have to speak every week but I only want to preach when I have something of value to say. When I kick back into preaching in the fall, my hope is, I’ll be dropping an album worth listening to.

Preaching The Green Lantern Oath

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What? You do not know the Green Lantern Oath? For shame. Say it along with me:

“In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil’s might, Beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!“

If you are going to use the oath in any of your up coming messages, by all that is holy, let’s get it right.

Here are some themes you could use using the the Green Lantern’s Oath

“In brightest day, in blackest night”  I Peter 3:15, 16, 2 Timothy 4:2

Let’s always be ready, no matter what the conditions, to share the good news

No evil shall escape my sight. Romans 12:9, Hebrews 5:14, 2 Timothy 2:22

We have to be wise, discerning what is good from what is evil.

Let those who worship evil’s might  Proverbs 14:22, Romans 2:8

If you choose to love and do what is evil, it is not going to work out for you.

Beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!“  2 Corinthians 12:9,  Ephesians 1:19, I John 4:4

Obviously, evil doers will not fear our power, but the one who is in us is greater than he that is in the world.

Green Lantern was a simple movie, and you will try to talk yourself out of not reading too much into it, yet, because of our worldview, you won’t be able to not see the spiritual parallels.

if you’d like  a free PDF called Lessons From The Lantern, packed with ideas of how to use this movie with your students, just sign up for the Get It First Newsletter, and you will receive it in your inbox on the next newsletter run.

 

Is Your Youth Ministry A Secret?

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Think about it. Much of our work as youth pastors is done in secret. We plan many of our messages, have meetings, and do youth work in secret. We don’t mean it to be a secret but  it just winds up that way. We’re not trying to hide what we do but inadvertently block the view of those who are desperately looking for who we are and what we are all about. Jesus extols the virtues of secret in Matthew 6

““Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

I am not asking we violate this. Jesus references the Pharisees, who flaunted their spirituality and false piety. I am not saying we take our spirituality and make it front page news. I am saying that much of what we do in youth meetings is secret to a world of young people who will never attend our youth meetings, who desperately need to see it and experience outside of the four walls of our church.

I needed some inexpensive used tires this past weekend. The usual place I go was too busy and they did not have enough used tires, which was my budget. I found a place not too far from me and they did not work in secret.

 

Think about it. When you go to a traditional garage, you drive in, drop off your keys, and then you wait. What they are doing to your car is a secret. It leaves your mind to wonder:

  • Are they really working on my car?
  • When will they be done?
  • Are they taking good care of my car?
  • Are they messing with anything else?

Secrecy breeds paranoia. This tire place I went to worked in the open. I drove up and saw a row of jacks in the front of the business. I was greeted by a service tech and brought to the back where I got to pick out the tires I wanted for the price I wanted.I saw him grab the tires, roll them out, jack up my truck and put the tires on, all in about 20 minutes.

 

What is your youth ministry currently doing “secretly’, that you could do more openly?

  • Evangelism
  • Discipleship
  • Community
  • Worship

This Wednesday we are borrowing an ice cream truck and going around our neighborhood and passing out free ice cream. We are taking who we are publicly. We don’t want people to wonder what goes on inside those four walls two times a week. We want a community to know, this is the spirit of what is happening all the time and who we desire to be consistently.

This Wednesday, we are visiting the seniors and the shut ins of our church. We don’t want them, or the church as whole, wandering what are doing or what we we are about. We don’t want our secrecy to conjure untrue thoughts in the minds of our congregation.

This Wednesday we are visiting those students who have not been in a while. We want them to know that our care is not a secret, but it lives and breathes outside our youth room.

Do your youth work in the open, dispel everyone’s preconceived ideas of what your church is about and dispel the paranoia of your church, board, and pastor. You do good work, don’t keep it a secret. God does great work, do it in the open.

 

 

Why Senior Sunday Saddens Me

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Let me preface this post by saying I have been at my church for under a year. I understand that you have to jettison a senior class or two within a youth ministry to expunge former philosophies and practices and to import new ones that will grow over time. That does not make this Sunday any less sad. This Sunday is Senior Sunday. Eighty percent of the seniors I am graduating, I have not had any significant relationship with nor have they been involved in the youth ministry meetings or events over the past year. This means, when I stand up to introduce them to the congregation, I will not be able to

  • Share stories of spiritual growth
  • Share moments from trips or events
  • Share about about how much I care about them (I do but it’s hard to really care about people you don’t know)
  • Share about funny moments we all shared

Even sadder, their parents could care less if I shared about these things. Maybe because they have had all the spiritual moments they needed in life. Maybe because with strong family units they did not need another spiritual community. If this is the case, then maybe I am not the one to introduce them. Maybe their parents should. I will share their scripts of accomplishments, clubs, hobbies, and their future plans. Here is a another saddening realizations. Their future, unfortunately,  includes

  • Not attending church
  • Not continuing to grow in their faith
  • Not caring whether the generations that come up after them in the youth group will have spiritual role models

What if I read that as their future plans in addition to going to college? Right, like a lead ballon. Can you say job hunting? The last of the saddest news is, I don’t know if their is an answer for our community. Oh, I could say Jesus is the answer but that is trite, and quite frankly, stupid. Jesus is not duck tape, You don’t slap him on broken spiritual lives and hope it holds them together. No, the problem is deeper and broader. Our community and church is unique like yours. You may have a great system or program for this, but I tell you now, it will not work here.

To quote the great philosopher Dirty Harry, “A mans got to know his limitations”- Magnum Force. I know mine. I also know God’s, He has none. Only God, by his grace, can save, inspire, and bring to pass, the spiritual growth needed to move this community past Senior Sunday. I have no confidence  in the flesh. I have great confidence in God, but, that does not make me any less sad.

Do you face a similar situation? How have you dealt with it?