Posts tagged church
Avoiding The Pastor Disaster
Aug 27th
Keeping with our theme of not shooting ourselves in the foot through self inflicted conflict., I share 5 ways to avoid conflict with your Pastor. In my naive days, I thought the youth ministry was my world, my silo, separate from other ministries. In reality, the only reason we have this full time, professional, role is because our boss, our pastor, signs those checks. I know, they could not do it unless God let them but I challenge you to get a bank to cash a check signed by God. So, let’s try our best today to remove ourselves from harming the relationship that could be the difference between success and failure.
1. Keep them in the loop
A lack of informations produces fear. Operating out of a fear and operating out of confidence make all the difference. Consider your pastors schedule
- Hospital visits (that stuff you really don’t want to do)
- Counseling sessions
- Jail visits (hopefully not to any of your students or possibly you)
- Sermon Prep
The list goes on. When something is going on that they NEED to know about but doesn’t , it could result in the knee-jerk expression of fear “Who’s in charge?” Then, they will have to exert that they are. Here are some ways to keep your pastor in the loop.
- Add them to critical e-mail lists (adult leaders, parents newsletter, etc)
- Tweet them when something changes
- Give them your four month plan
- Bring up changes in staff meeting
- Keep your calendar online and send them a link
- Post it to their door
- Make sure their secretary has the information.
Another way to keep your pastor in the loop is invite him to switch pulpits. Let them do your service and you do his. This way they can see the good you are doing and give them a chance to connect with students.
Whatever you do, keep your pastor informed about what is going on. This way they can brag on you 
2. Tell them before they find out
We all have those moments of “should I tell or shouldn’t I?”. My vote: tell. What are some of the things you might want to tell your pastor before they find out?
- An exchange of words with THAT parent
- An exchange of words with THAT deacon or board member
- And exchange of words with his wife or kids
- When numbers are down. Plead a Mea Culpa and ask for help.
- When you know you spent to much and the event sucked.
- When a prominent student is no longer attending.
- That thing that happened at that camp before they see it on YouTube.
There are a dozen more, but God will usually let us know when we should share. Take the hit early and work your way up from there.
3. Plan together
If your Turkey Bowl is conflicting with the Downtown outreach, that’s a problem. Staff members too often live separate live and engage in silo building. Do as much planning up front too avoid date conflicts. I know some of this may be out of your control but try asking for 1 day a quarter to break out the calendars and everyone getting on the same page. The very fact, that the youth pastor is suggesting does 2 things 1) Signifies the apocalypse may be occurring and 2) It sends your stock sky high.
4. Think big picture not youth group
Like I said in the beginning, this is only our youth group as long as someone above us tells us it is. When I was working flipping houses for rent, someone gave some great advice, “Don’t fall in love with your property”. This statement simply says, it’s gonna get messed up; so don’t get obsessed with it. Solomon says it this way,
“So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 2:17-19
My suggestions is to erase this phrase from your vocab “My ministry” or “My youth group”. This group only exists because there is a local church established. You may just want to stop saying “mine” all together.
Your best bet is to get on the same page with your Pastor. What is the overall mission of the church and how can you lead the youth to help them accomplish this and disciple your students at the same time. This can lead to a longer stay and a reputation of being a team player.
Trust me, for this radical, “fight the power” youth pastor of old to say this, seems quite strange, but I found it to be quite true.
5. Make their priorities your priorities
It should not take us long to figure this out. Just listen in staff meeting for a few weeks and write down key words. Some words may be
- Budget (money is important, be thrifty)
- Facilities (building is important, keep it clean)
- Souls (evangelism is important, do more outreach)
- Schedule ( time and organization is important, be on time, be organized)
- Key names ( relationships are important, improve them)
Like I said, it does not take long to know what they think is important and the longer you take to make their priorities your priorities, you increase the chance of a conflict. I am not talking about kissing the ring, I am talking about decreasing the opportunity of conflict so God can bless your obedience and open doors to getting some of your dreams and ideas through.
Failure Is An Option
Jul 3rd
I was told numerous times in staff meetings over the years that failure is not an option. But it is and it should be. Usually this slogan is centered around:
- a big church event
- keeping your job
- growing the church or youth ministry (see #2)
This is small thinking at it’s worst. Failure in these cases is certainly an option and should be an option. I was recently on a missions trip and the boys we were with were making some building mistakes. Our crew chief, Billy (an amazing man) would say, if you are not failing you are not doing anything. I could not agree more. Our fear point for failure revolves around us. We worry what others (the world), other churches, or believers will think of the us or our church (small c).
We need to broaden our view of failure. Would Peter’s daring walk on water be nearly as interesting if he had not sunk? No, because the lesson here is not: Don’t Sink, the message is: Keep your eyes on Jesus. We are so worried about sinking we never even think of getting out of the boat. Let us keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
Let’s challenge our youth and ourselves to fail greatly for the cause of Christ. This should be our list and mandate for failing. These are dreams, goals, and mandates that our worthy of our efforts and even our failures in our effort to achieve them.
- Building the Kingdom of God
- Raising up a new generation of leaders
- Making our youth ministry student-led instead of spectator induced
- Keeping our personal lives above reproach (this does not mean making mistakes)
- Glorifying God with our lives
Now go and fail greatly; believing that in the end, there is no failure or condemnation in Christ Jesus.
Need some inspiration? Here ya go:
Seven Questions I’d Like My Pastor To Ask Me
Jun 22nd
I was just thinking about this and there are questions I would like my Pastor’s to ask me. Maybe you want your Pastor to ask you too. If I am missing some please feel free to add yours. These are in no particular order
1. What have you been reading in Scripture?
I don’t remember the last time, if ever, a pastor has asked me this question. I want them to ask me because I want to share what God is teaching me and to show that I am growing in my relationship with God.
2. When was the last time you looked at porn?
I struggled with this about 10 years ago and I make sure I tell every pastor I have worked for that I have struggled with it. It’s part of my accountability.
3. How is your marriage? Kids?
This is an important question. I want a pastor who is aware of not only aware of my needs but my family’s needs. How many marriages have imploded because a marriage wasn’t nurtured or because the youth pastor stayed too long at the office or on the road. This is a life saving question.
4. How is God speaking to you?
This may seem like a questions about prayer but God speaks in many ways. I want to know that someone cares about my soul and that my soul is connecting with God and not the world.
5. Where do you see your life going?
Youth pastors young or old are always seeking God’s will. They ask “What’s next?” Youth Pastors need career guidance. I need a guide to help me make hard choices. The next question I’d like to hear after this is “How can I help?”
6. Who are you mentoring/discipling?
I want my pastor to hear and feel the needs of the students in our group. I want him to ask about who I am leading and where they are in their spiritual growth. I want them to ask me this so they can walk with them through the stories I tell them and maybe take extra interest in them the next time they see them.
7. Who are you sharing/demonstrating the gospel to?
I always want to remain close to lost people. I want to be accountable for sharing my faith and passing along what Jesus has done for me. Failure to ask this questions leaves me vulnerable to the fear of man, laziness, or apathy.
These are just a few of the questions I thought of. What questions do you want your Pastor to ask you?
Are We Chasing Unicorns?
Jun 22nd
Unicorns are elusive mythological horses with one horn in the middle of their head. Posters of them adorn many a young girls room. We are fascinated by myths: Big Foot, The Loch Ness Monster, UFO’s, etc. People and organizations have spent millions of dollars over the years searching for these illusive creatures.
Wipe that smile off your face, you’ve been chasing unicorns for years. No really, we all have. We go from church to church or closet to closet in our churches looking for unicorns. “Are they Christian Unicorns?” you ask. Doesn’t matter, we look anyway. We are in search of that mythological church experience. What kind of experiences? If you are a church worker of any kind here are the kinds of myths we chase:
- The Pastor who “really” cares about students.
- The Pastor who “really” cares about us.
- The budget we “really” need to reach students.
- The students and youth staff that are completely sold out to our ideas.
- The church with the right facilities.
- The church who will pay us what we are worth
- The nice janitor.
- The secretary who isn’t crabby.
- The 80% of parents who are totally behind you.
- The big youth group
- The spiritual church
The list of unicorns are endless. We search high and low for these creatures seeking their magical qualities. We believe if we have them they grant us wishes and bring us happiness. The problem is, Jesus doesn’t want us to have them . Unicorns are God’s blessings, if we get them, that is great but if we don’t is should not matter because God did not call us to chase unicorns; He called us to follow Him. The devil’s trick is to whisper in our ear “There are unicorns right over there. Perfection awaits you at that church. You’ll have everything you need. You will be complete.” This is total garbage. The more we chase unicorns the more unhappy we become and the further away from Jesus we get. But can we help ourselves. Some of us are jazzed by the hunt alone. We are like Ahab chasing Moby Dick. We spend our whole lives or careers chasing the imaginary, the perfect scenario and often wind up in burn own or worse.
I don’t know if unicorns exists. The Bible makes mention of them. But I tire of chasing unicorns. If one should appear during my travels with Jesus then I will thanks Him for the visitation but until then, unicorns will have to come looking for me.