Free Thoughts About Ministry
These are thoughts which can impact your overall outlook to ministry or make you stutter step enough to consider changing the way you do ministry or a part of your ministry.
Do You Have The “Anywhere, Anytime, Anyone” Syndrome?
Aug 10th
I used to think I could work anywhere, anytime, and for anybody. I thought I was the youth ministry swiss army knife that was good for all occasions. Like the army knife pictured, I had 85 gadgets good for any denom, para church, or non-denom situation. Boy, was I delusional. One of the things I learned working at a Methodist church is that I cannot work in a Methodist church. I understand that all are not created equal, but if it’s traditional and I have to keep up with a ton of paper work, then, that is not the job for me. Are you suffering from the Anywhere , Anytime, Anyone Syndrome? Let me break it to you harshly
- You can’t work just anywhere
As much as I believed I could, I couldn’t. Eventually it catches up to us. all. When I start looking outside my frame of reference I have this justifying thought that goes, “Youth ministry is the same everywhere.” It is and it isn’t . Youth ministry, as far as mechanics may be the same, but the context and structure is different. I thrive best when I have the freedom to do and don’t have too many bosses, etc. “Well of course you do Paul who wouldn’t?” Well, to start with, most youth pastors in their first 5 years. Learning the ropes, the politics, and a million other things keeps new guys hopping. I have been through the fire and now I know what kind of structure I want. It only took, 5 churches and 20 years to figure it out.
- You can’t just work anytime
Seasons are called seasons for a reason. There is a short amount of time for each season to do it’s work in the earth. Plants must grow, wither, die, and grow again (see Ecclesiastes). There are times when we think we should be doing this not that. Joseph thought he should have had his brother bowing down to him, not rotting in jail. Youth Ministry and all ministry comes in seasons
- The employed/life is good season (growing)
- The I am miserable at my church season (withering)
- I am working at Chick Fila to pay the bills season (dying)
- I hate the ministry and I am never going back (dead)
- I am called whether I like it or not, sign me up (growing again)
God brings us through these seasons so we will grow and prosper according to His plan. Anytime is in God’s hands not ours. There are things to be learned that can only be learned beyond the church walls.
- You can’t just work for anyone
I know, there are jobs we take because we want to and those we take because we have to. I have done both. I can’t just work for anybody anymore. I have dealt with my share of type A personalities, driven men who have little time for you. After working for the same kind of guys and being fired (twice) buy those kind of guys; the Lord revealed to me that I was like a wife who went from bad marriage to bad marriage, endured beatings, only to fall into the arms of the first man who would take care of me. I need a pastors and team who are committed to relationships and doing life and church together. I need pastors who value my opinion. We sabotage ourselves when we accept positions with the faulty notion that we can work anywhere and for anybody.
Let me encourage you to say no. If you can,
- Say no to the jobs that don’t fit you.
- Say no to the wrong pastors and leaders for you.
- Say no to the wrong structure that will inhibit you.
- Say no to the jobs that do not play to your strengths.
- Say no to jobs that are about pay checks instead of passion.
- Say no to working for anyone, anywhere because you think you can, you can’t.
God has designed all of us to be somewhere with someone who compliments us and challenges us. I was a martyr for many years, thinking I had to go through these things, with these churches, with these men. Whether I did or didn’t have to learn this way I don’t know. What I have learned is that God has made us all a certain way, for a certain purpose, with certain gifts to be used in certain ways. Don’t settle for less.
What Youth Workers Do VS What We Are Paid For
Jun 24th
Have you been brushing up the latest youth ministry techniques? Maybe you have been reading relational youth ministry strategies. At any rate, stop! That is probably not what your church pays you for.
Here is a short list of things your church does not pay for you for:
- Building relationships with students
- Preaching and or teaching
- Praying for kids
- Attending church and or worshipping
- Studying your Bible
- Loving kids
- Discipling kids
- Good Theology
If you are called to youth ministry, you will do these things regardless. There is no price tag you can place on it. Besides, think about your yearly or quarterly reviews. Are you ever called on the carpet for any of these things? My guess is No. So, let me present a list of things you are probably paid for and we all should be brushing up on:
- Budgeting
- Training and Leading a team
- Fun activities and programming
- Numeric Youth Group Growth
- Ideas that will grow the church body
- Paper work
- Marketing
- Organization
- Understanding and Operating new Technology (AKA Social Media)
- Handling Crisis (make everything better)
So, if you are about to be hired or are changing churches, don’t get confused for what you are actually paid for. The former list is what happens in the midst of the latter list. We live for the former list and endure the latter list. You might want start thinking about changing your summer reading list. Let me offer a few suggestions
And for those who still won’t give up connecting with kids, in spite of the fact that you are not getting paid for it. I recommend the book by Jonathan McKee called Connect. Great book.
Are We Chasing Unicorns?
Jun 22nd
Unicorns are elusive mythological horses with one horn in the middle of their head. Posters of them adorn many a young girls room. We are fascinated by myths: Big Foot, The Loch Ness Monster, UFO’s, etc. People and organizations have spent millions of dollars over the years searching for these illusive creatures.
Wipe that smile off your face, you’ve been chasing unicorns for years. No really, we all have. We go from church to church or closet to closet in our churches looking for unicorns. “Are they Christian Unicorns?” you ask. Doesn’t matter, we look anyway. We are in search of that mythological church experience. What kind of experiences? If you are a church worker of any kind here are the kinds of myths we chase:
- The Pastor who “really” cares about students.
- The Pastor who “really” cares about us.
- The budget we “really” need to reach students.
- The students and youth staff that are completely sold out to our ideas.
- The church with the right facilities.
- The church who will pay us what we are worth
- The nice janitor.
- The secretary who isn’t crabby.
- The 80% of parents who are totally behind you.
- The big youth group
- The spiritual church
The list of unicorns are endless. We search high and low for these creatures seeking their magical qualities. We believe if we have them they grant us wishes and bring us happiness. The problem is, Jesus doesn’t want us to have them . Unicorns are God’s blessings, if we get them, that is great but if we don’t is should not matter because God did not call us to chase unicorns; He called us to follow Him. The devil’s trick is to whisper in our ear “There are unicorns right over there. Perfection awaits you at that church. You’ll have everything you need. You will be complete.” This is total garbage. The more we chase unicorns the more unhappy we become and the further away from Jesus we get. But can we help ourselves. Some of us are jazzed by the hunt alone. We are like Ahab chasing Moby Dick. We spend our whole lives or careers chasing the imaginary, the perfect scenario and often wind up in burn own or worse.
I don’t know if unicorns exists. The Bible makes mention of them. But I tire of chasing unicorns. If one should appear during my travels with Jesus then I will thanks Him for the visitation but until then, unicorns will have to come looking for me.
Turning Teens Pain Into Purpose
Apr 12th
I’ve seen a series of stories lately about teenagers making a difference. The latest story I saw was about girl with a painful knee condition. The only time she had relief was when she was laying down and reading. She said, “ ”When I read, it’s a real escape,” Bearup says. “I try to take myself into the book instead of in the real world where I’m in so much pain.” She matched her pain with her love of books and started to collect books to give to homeless shelters. To date she has donated over 38,000 books in multiple states. You can read the rest HERE
How can we, as leaders, help teens see their pain can have purpose? With me, it was the loss of a father. I have a soft spot for young men who are looking for identity with a father figure. Think of the hurting kids in your youth ministry. Is there a ministry waiting to be born? Where do we start?
- Be open to seeing students as ministers.
- Give them time to work through their pain before asking them to think about ministry.
- Let it be the students idea.
- Confirm that their are no scraps. God uses everything in our lives, even our pain.
- Keep you eyes open for stories like the one above and share them with your group.
God’s working, even in our hurting kids. Beauty from ashes.
8 Teen Centered Movies To Watch For
Mar 26th
I love movies. I love movie about teenagers like The Breakfast Club and Napoleon Dynamite. So, I have seen a flurry of movies coming up that we should keep our eyes open for. Ready? Here ya go.
The Runaways (out now)
These are not necessarily recommendations because I have not seen the movies. I’ll let you watch the trails and let you decide. Am I missing a movie? Let me know.
Here’s a few great links about movies and teens
Making Real Men From Scratch
Mar 25th
I can’t stand it any more. I have to say something. I am frustrated with the type of commitment I am seeing from the guys in our our youth group. I don’t even think I can blame this on theology as much as as on society. I mean really, what was the last good “Man Movie’ you saw? Consider your choices
- The Hangover
- Hot Tub Time Machine
- Anything with Seth Rogen, Will Ferrell, or Adam Sandler
- And don’t get me started on Matthew McConaughey
Think about the men in these movies. They are all complete morons. They are uncommitted, drunken, sex craved deviants. This is what is shaping today’s young men’s character. We’ve made a full switch from the 80′s I grew up in where there were men in movies like:
- Rambo
- Dirty Harry
- Rocky
- Terminator
Now, these movies had their own problems in that they had too much violence, or swearing, etc. They showed guys as thugs or that we only knew one way to handle things. In their defense, it takes less energy to tone a young man down than to get him to man up. In addition, however warped some of these movies were, they seemed to esteem some man values. There were rules, justice, and even compassion. We now live in an age where men are more metro, listen to screamo, and guy-liner. Did we have our share of deviant movies? Oh yeah. Is my age showing? Yep. Much of this is perception, but I am deeply concerned about the new manliness that is portrayed in our culture.
In a recent seminar at YS, led by Mark Helsel, I learned that :
- 39% of men make up a congregation
- 90% of men leave the church by age 20. (some come back later and stats differ)
This being true, it burned me to the core. I went back to our church and God hatched a plan in my heart. I don’t have many basketball players in my group so I chose to take March Madness and turn into March Man-Ness. We did a full court press in man games, man messages, and all around manliness. This is a start. No dramatic changes yet. We are moving toward a Christian brotherhood that will rally around the the cause of Christ. Men love a good revolt. I’m not sure I can do a fulll “How To Get Your Boys to Man Up” session yet , but I am working on it.
Here is my March-Maness Plan , if you can glean from it, great. Got some add on ideas? Let me know. Here’s to our young men discovering the God Man, Jesus and becoming more like Him. Let’s Man Up!
Is Sunday A Day of Work or Worship For Pastors?
Mar 21st
I was just thinking: “When do I get to worship? I mean, really” Sundays are frustrating for pastors and anyone who works in the church. I can see why we feel ripped off. We work/serve all week long for others and then we are suppose to put on our happy faces again on Sunday. Think of all the Sunday “duties” a pastor might have in addition to preaching
- Touch base with someone
- Discipline someone
- Teach someone
- Counsel someone
- Make sure certain people know certain things
- Announce something
The list is endless. In addition, we think about all the other things we have to do next week, not including the things that have cropped up on just this one Sunday. When do we get to worship? I want to sit back and enjoy worship. I want to go to a Sunday School class and not have to teach it.
“A religious Jew tries to bring holiness into everything they do, by doing it as an act that praises God, and honours everything God has done. For such a person the whole of their life becomes an act of worship.”
In thinking about this, it puts what I do on Sunday’s in perspective
- If I have to discipline one of God’s children for their benefit and for the benefit of the body, this is honoring to God.
- If I have to counsel someone in trouble this is honoring God.
- If I have to do announcement so a need is met, this is to the Glory of God.
It boils down to how we use our time all week. What we put out time into. If we are waiting on Sunday to “get out worship on” then we are modeling the wrong thing. We shouldn’t be frustrated if our students or adults do this, they are learning it from us.
Psalm 46:10 ”Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Take some time this week to week God through everything you do. Pray at work. Scriptures while waiting in line. Fasting. Worship in your car instead of the news. This is not a legal list to follow but some suggestions for weaving our worship into everyday life. Have a great worship service every day!
What is Your Exit Strategy for Seniors?
Mar 3rd
In the previous posts I shared how the different ways students could graduate. Now, the gate has been narrowed. Most states offer some sort of exit exam. What is the point of an exit exam?
“to make sure no students graduate or move on to other courses without proving they have mastered what they have studied.”
This begs the question “Have our students mastered what they have studied?” Never mind mastering what have studies, but what have they studied? How do we know if a student is ready to leave our youth ministry?
Here is my question to you. If you could create an exit exam to make sure your students knew what they needed to know to move on to the next level what would it look like? Would it be a written test? How many questions would they have to answer to satisfy you to move them on? Would it me Bible questions? Theology questions? Practical questions? Would it be multiple choice? Essay?
Let collaborate. Share 6 questions, in any form, you wold put on the exam that would satisfy you that a students under your ministry was ready to leave. Ready. Go.
6 Types of Graduating Seniors
Mar 3rd
There used to be 6 ways to graduate from High School and they were all based on where you were in life and what kind of skill set you had. There are some things we can glean for our graduating process of our kids in our youth ministry, here are a few:
Academic- Possibly College bound, the norm ( this was me).
The academics are the bulk of your group. they may go on to grow their faith some more beyond your group but most just want to get out alive. This is the bulk of your youth ministry. They will go on to be your average church.
Vocational (Mechanics)- Guys or girls who are good with their hands. Maybe they planned on working in a factory or on the farm but that is a small market now. There are those students in your youth ministry who will never excel at Bible Study or Scripture memory or any other spiritual discipline but they are still a value to the Kingdom. They are builders and doers not necessarily deep thinkers but different thinkers who see the kingdom through dirty hands.
Business (accounting,Technolgy, 2 math , 2 science Plus ADECA Courses)- Some were good with numbers and sought to start their own business or work in accounting. You have kids who love to crunch the numbers or problem solve or create a strart up. What if their graduation process looked different from the others? Why not customize it?
Advance Academics- College bound and over achieving teens. There are our students leaders who would over achieve it were a hopscotch class. They join Bible Quiz or other brain engagers. They are your students leaders and student councils. They graduate at the top of the youth group because they came to everything.
Special Ed.- If you had a learning disability you still would have to know the basics but the standard was different. You have special needs kids in your youth group (ADD, ADHD, etc.) who cannot grasp the whole process but love God and want to do their best. Graduate them differently but do not separate them from others but bind them together.
Attendance Certificate- Kids just phoned it in. They showed up, didn’t do much, and graduate when the school got tired of seeing them. These kids are still in our youth ministries today. There are those who want to phone their faith in and say when they are older “I went to church”. They want their attendance certificates to say I was good, moral, and I believe in God but what does that say about our learning process, There is room for these kids to graduate if we want them to.
GED- Equivalency – this was not really a way of graduation but a way of getting by. This was for drop outs who wanted “beat the system” or who thought they were smarter than the system or who knew they were not smarter than the system. The GED’ers get their faith somewhere else. They show up occasionally, like maybe at the grad dinner you throw.
How are we graduating kids? Are we looking at all our kids the same? Do we program for advanced academics but are disappointed when our “vocational” kids don’t show up? Are we forcing a one size fits all educational spirituality on our students and then judging them on our graduation standards?
We all need to re-think our strategy and how we graduate our students. What do you think? Did Jesus lower the bar for some (thief on the cross) and lift it for others (Peter). Did Jesus customize the graduation process so all would believe but not all would follow the same way?
Let’s talk about it.
9 Things Your Youth Ministry Budget Can And Cannot Do
Mar 2nd
What Money Can/Can’t Buy
Obama just made a deal to give 900 million to stop the plummeting drop out rate of the poorest students. Money is great, but it can’t buy everything that is needed for these students to succeed.
Recently 25 teachers were fired for various reasons, one being failing test scores . I do not think test scores tell the whole story, but that is another blog. You can read one story HERE from the Business Insider. Here is my short list when it comes to budget and youth ministry
Money is good, it’s a start, but
Money can by competent people but not caring people.
Money can buy educated people but not passionate people.
Money can buy great minds but not people with a great mission.
Money can entertain kids but not inspire them.
Money can pacify students but not empower them.
Money can get them from point a to b but cannot lead them.
Money can add staff but it cannot be a friend.
Money can lull them into thinking they do not need anything but it cannot love them like you can.
What are you throwing money at, that you ought to be throwing yourself at through training, influence, and relationships, and yes even firing those volunteers who are ineffective.
Let’s try this: 50 Things Money Can/Cannot Buy When It Comes To Youth Ministry. Add your own, as many as you’d like. Nine down 41 more to go. Invite someone to add theirs as well. Thanks.